Here Thar Be Monsters!

From the other side of the argument to the other side of the planet, read in over 149 countries and 17 languages. We bring you news and opinion with an IndoTex® flavor. Be sure to check out Radio Far Side. Send thoughts and comments to luap.jkt at gmail, and tell all your friends. Sampai jumpa, y'all.

31.12.10

Happy New Year!

From all of us here at LFS Headq-uarters, deep in the tropical jungles of Borneo, a heart-felt wish for a happy, safe, successful, and challenging New Year, 2011!

For some reason, a old Irish toast comes to our mind, though we can't imagine why. But here goes...


May you enjoy the four greatest blessings:
Honest work to occupy you.
A hearty appetite to sustain you.
A good woman to love you.
And a wink from the God above.

May the wings of the butterfly kiss the sun.
And find your shoulder to light on.
To bring you luck, happiness and riches.
Today, tomorrow and beyond.
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Slan agus beannacht!

The LFS Team

Post Scriptum 0 Since many readers are in Europe and North America, we have the unique ability to address you from next year. We have just passed midnight, the world is still here and last we checked, God is still in His Heaven.

We just wanted to tell you what it's like living in a city of 12 million people with no silly laws that protect them from their own stupidity. At midnight, it was a veritable war zone. There were fireworks erupting from every corner in every neighborhood for a full 30 minutes. It was raining flotsam and jetsam, and likely still is, though we dicided it was somewhat safer indoors. The noise was literally deafening and there were showers of sparks and booms from every direction. Kind of reminded us of Red Square, except it is warm and not smowing. Quite an interesting experience that we would recommend to anyone wanting to plan a get away for 2012!

A Rearview Look Ahead

You may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
You may find yourself in another part of the world
You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
You may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
You may ask yourself: well... how did I get here?

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground

You may ask yourself
How do I work this?
You may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
You may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
You may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground

Same as it ever was... Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was... Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was... Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was... Same as it ever was...

--Once In A Lifetime, The Talking Heads

Two items in The Jakarta Post summarized 2010 for me. The first was a front page story about
how Jakarta police will control New Year's Eve traffic by closing roads. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but somehow closing off major thoroughfares just doesn't meet the logic test when it comes to reducing traffic snarls. The other item tells us that the US will pay Norway a billion bux to control greenhouse emissions, and the Weegies will in turn pay Indonesia not to cut down some forest areas in Borneo. Huh?

If I have to choose one word to summarize the year just past, it would be 'absurd.'Arthur C. Clark, the brilliant writer-cum-scientist, called 2010, "The year we make contact." He obviously didn't mean contact between brain synapses. Some of us will be waiting until midnight to find out just what sort of contact he was referring to

In the past year, we have seen America crash in the middle of a 'recovery,' Russia and China make nice without dollars, Europe go into the crapper, southeast Asia rise in prominence, Japan get nasty with its neighbor, the Koreas heat up again, Stuxnet become an actual word, and gold and silver hit the roof.

The European PIIGS have taken the only sensible course of action. When faced with a debt crisis, they immediately piled on more debt in order to pay off existing debt. They are now, of course, more in debt, which is a reasonable position to take in the situation.

The Dow Jones index in the States has shot to the Moon as the economy approaches that magic number of 100$ productivity, the point at which absolutely no one produces absolutely nothing. Meanwhile, the US Treasury continues to bail out those responsible for the global banking crisis by reearding their behavior, and even changing the laws to cover their tracks for them. To fund all this, since no one will buy US debt any more, the Treasury has begun selling itself its own debt, thus reducing US debt to near-junk status while at the same time igniting the fuse on the bomb that will later destroy the economy they are desperately trying to keep afloat.

In Indonesia, where raiding the public funds for personal gain is a national pastime, the Treasury jumped on the global bandwagon of bailouts for no good reason that anyone can see, and bailed out Bank Century to the tune of million of bux, which went nowhere that anyone can find. In addition, government agencies investigating other government agencies have found, surpise, no evidence of wrong-doing.

China is trying to figure out a way to cool its economy without cooling it. The economy is running red-hot from the trillions of bux flooding in, creating a massive and rich middle-class, which in turn wants all the gee-gaws that Western people used to have, which in turn is creating bubbles everywhere. It looks like the Lawrence Welk show over there. The government is tip-toeing around trying to piss on sparks while ignoring the wildfire. Should be fun to watch, at any rate.

In South America, nothing really changes much. Chavez was officially granted dictatorial powers that he has been using for years. Nice job, if you can get it. You can bet Obama has been taking notes. In Africa, all is status quo, with the exception of Cote d'Iviore, which is usually not in the news, but finds itself with feathers afuffle.

Once again, the global climate warming conference debated what to do about, guess...global warming in the midst of the coldest-ever winter in the northern hemisphere, while snow fell in parts of Australia, which is nominally having its summer right now. Two continents have been paralyzed by massive snow-fall. Meanwhile, the conference was hailed for making some headway in global hegimony (see Norway story above). One sensical thing did come out of this conference, however. It was held in Cancun instead of Copenhagen, so the news could at least carry photos of snow-free environs around the meetings.

Gold and silver have shot for the Moon, which is about the only sensible news to come out of the whole year. The same can be expected for the foreseeable future, so I will continue to buy my share of them, as I have done since 1999, when the stuff was $279 and $4.80 respectively. But I'm just some lone nut in the jungles of Borneo, right? What do I know?

So, basically, black continues to be white, alligators don't bite, birds fly backwards, and God didn't make the little green apples in the summertime.

It seems that 2010 was a year of paying for past mistakes. America suffered from the creation of the Federal Reserve System nearly 100 years ago. Europe suffered from a falacious political idea called socialism, which came into being around 100 years ago. Korea suffered from a war that started almost 60 years ago. China and Japan suffered from ancient hatreds and distrusts.Indonesia suffered from sustemic graft and corruption that is as old as the islands themselves, not to mention the accident of geology that places the country atop on of the most active regions on Earth. And the entire world suffered from a hidden effort to rule the globe that is hundreds of years in the making.

Two quotes come to mind, both from the same source: "My people perish for lack of knowledge," and "The Truth sahll make you free." So many mistakes from one simple idea...secrecy.

As anyone who has been married can tell you, the root of all stress begins with hiding information. The sheer amount of information that is hidden from "we the people" is astounding and the systemic stress that is created by hiding and keeping hidden simple facts has led us to so many problems, all of which are bubbling up out of the stew of history this year.

There is a man sitting as president of the US of A right now who was elected on the promise of 'transparency.' Since taking his oath of office, he has done everything in his power to make things 100% opaque. More lies, more hidden truths, more problems.

As C. S. Lewis said, if something becomes completely tranparent, then there is nothing at all. In the end, that is the best option for government. "That government governs best which governs least." Seems if we returned tho thes idea, so many of our current problems would disappear. There's no need for deficit spending when there's nothing to spend money on, seems to me.

So, given the idea that big government exists because we keep giving it more power, I have resolved to simply ignore it altogether. Maybe if everyone joined me in doing that, they would all wilt and fade away. Nice thought at any rate.

A good motto for 2010 would be, everything new is old again. As we close out the 'naugties' and begin the 'teens' decade, maybe now would be a good time to stop making the same damn mistakes over and over again. It's high time to leave the 20th century behind and start something new. We have seen what all the old ideas get us, so let's try some new ones.

It courld happen...

I

30.12.10

The Game's A Foot

With all that is happening in the world at this moment, The Jakarta Post has covered its entire front page with reports on Indonesia's loss in the Suzuki Cup finals. Get this, Inodnesia wan the game 2-1 against Malaysia, but lost the trphy because the score wasn't high enough. Go figure. Of course, there is a deep rivalry between Malaysia and Indonesia that occasionally simmers over into outright blows, but I hardly see where a game rates full front page coverage.

Our Korean neighbors are threatening to blow each other up. Pakistan, Afganistan and Iraq are embroiled in war. Israel continues to terrorize it neighbors. Europe and America teeter on the verge of economic collapse. China and Russia are snuggling up to end dollar hegimony. And the only thing that rates as news today is a game.

Sorry, but I just don't get it.

I have tried my whole life to understand this whole pro-sports thing. What I inevitably come to believe is that the whole damn thing is a colossal waste of time, money and resources: massive stadia, black holes of electricity, huge salaries for non-productive people, transportaion to ship teams and their staff all over the globe, even specialties in sports medicine. And all of this why? To draw your eyeballs to some advertising.

It's obscene, really.

Now, I will admit a certain affinity for horse and car racing. There are multiple variables pitting man against himself and against his steed/machine, as well as against other teams. I like the sheer complexity of it. The odds against any one competitor winning are pretty exciting.

But the idea of two teams of more or less equal footing going head-to-head just doesn't rise to the level of real sport, to my mind (all previous soccer puns intended). It's just like American politics. It doesn't matter who wins the game, everyone loses.

Yesterday, Jakarta, a city of roughly 12 million people, came to a halt. In Senayan, traffic was in gridlock as 80,000 people tried to get into the stadium. In my neighborhood, kids went around doing a lion dance and collecting money to pay for a large screen projector in the park across from my house so the entire neighborhood could gather for the game. By start time, the streets were dead and the play-by-play could be heard echoing all across the area interspersed with cheers and groans. Normally, it takes a natual disaster to achieve the same result.

All across the city, people gathered at the warung (small shops and restaurants) to watch the event. As my lady and I trundled to a local hotel by bajaj to meet some friends, I hardly missed a word of the call, as TVs blared out every five meters. The streets were dead in a city that has legendary traffic problems, day and night. The driver could hardly wait to drop us and return to the game. The hotel where we met was apparently full with well-heeled Indonesians who has come in to attend the event. There was even talk of riots should Indonesia win the Cup.

In short, nearly every man, woman and child has their self-image, national pride and hopes tied up in -- a game. A the really absurd part is that Indonesia won the game, but lost the Cup because of some occult, alchemical formula that uses advanced linear physics and quaternion geometry to determine the winner.

Go figure.

I son't suppose anyone thought about how many people could be clothed, housed and fed for what was spent on the Suzuki Cup, or the Super Bowl for that matter, or the World Series, or Formula One, or any other major sporting event you care to pick. The important thing is that absolutely nothing was created from all this effort and expense. It was literally a complete waste of time and effort. It achieved nothing. It produced nothing. It changed nothing.

Yet, the banner headline in The Jakarta Post reads, "Malaysia Win Makes History." Oh really? So absolutely nothing changed the direction of global human history?

The original Olympics I can understand. Here men demonstrated their prowess at skills that were vital in warfare: jumping, running, throwing spears and rocks. But I fail to see the relevance of those things today, since modern warfare simply involves dropping massive amounts of incendiary devices on non-combatant populations. Ostensibly, the modern Olympics were to foster world peace and understanding, but if that's the case, they have failed miserably. Surely, there must be some value to dressing teen-age girls in skimpy outfits, covering them with talc and making them contort themselves on global TV.

I can see the value of high school athletics. The boys are dripping with hormones and need some sort of outlet that at least purports to have some benefit to health and diverts them from more nefarious pursuits. However, by college age, they should have learned some amount of self-control and be able to pursue more productive, if not intellectual causes.

Most of what I have seen is that sports are simply a vehicle for overweight, beer-guzzling, middle-aged losers to invest their low self-images in their avatars so that they can derive some amount of self-importance by doing nothing more than vegetating on the couch.

Certainly, Nero knew the value of 'bread and circuses.' By keeping the citizenry distracted with meaningless eye-candy, they wouldn't interfere with the affairs of state, which were to rob and plunder every individual that could be physically located somewhere. In the same way a baby can be entertained for hours by a mobile or twinkling lights, most adults can be derailed by spectacle and pagentry. It's the most valuable tool of the magician, to distract an audience in one direction, while the deception occurs in the other. As any deceiver will tell you, it's not what you see, but what you think you see that matters.

Pro sports are nothing more than magic tricks. If entire popuations can be made to look in one direction at one time, then the opportunities are endless for what can be done in other directions. If you find it hard to imagine how this works, there is a simple game you can do with a couple of friends on a lazy afternoon.

Go to some public area with a large number of people. You and your friends take up a position that is fairly visible and start staring up at some random point. It helps if you all talk excitedly about some imaginary thing happening 'up there.' Within minutes, you will have a substantial crowd around, all looking up at the same spot and trying to figure out what is so interesting. You can even walk away after a few minutes and just sit and watch the fun. I've actually been able to get fairly large, self-sustaining crowds together for as long as an hour with this trick.

If I were a pick-pocket, I'd be pretty rich by now.

Even if nothing is happening 'up there,' people will wait just for the hope of seeing something happen. It's why so many people watch auto racing. Maybe there'll be a horrific crash. It's why horror movies are so popular. it's why magic works and tight-rope walkers get crowds, and lion tamers are so fascinating. Someone MIGHT get mangled!

It's why we use words like 'trounce,' 'annihilate,' 'vanquish,' and related hyperbole to describe the outcome of pro-sport contests. We are really wanting someone to get seriously hurt, even if only in a mental way. It's the whole purpose of the 'bread and circuses,' to watch the christians get eaten, the gladiators to get hacked to pieces and the slaves to be trampled.

Meanwhile, in the other direction, someone is robbing you blind.

28.12.10

Prognoostications For 2011

Every year, it seems, the mentalists, soothsayers and techno-ratti all jump on the prognostications bandwagon to give us their Top 10 lists of Things To Come. Well, not being ones to miss out on a good hay-ride, we here at LFS feel obliged to dive into the fray and describe in occult terms what we see written in the stars during the coming solar orbital period.

Bear in mind that we offer no warranty, express or implied, as to the validity of any of these events or their occurrances. Your mileage may vary. MSRP based on willing suspension of disbelief.

So, without further ado, let's us begin at the end:

10) Due to a massive screw-up down at Central Casting, Prince William will marry Kate Mulgrew, rather than Kate Middleton. No one notices, since she looks more like the image on the commemorative coin than the actual intended. The queen will be overheard to say that it's probably all for the best, since it will bring badly needed genetic diversity to the royal breed-stock. The morning after the wedding, newspapers worldwide will carry photos of the royal blood-stained sheet hung from the balcony of the royal bedchamer, proving once and for all that chicken blood and human blood DO look alike from a distance. Booking agents will immediately begin taking bets on the hour and minute of the royal conception. With any luck, the British subjects will yet again bear the cost of another royal party to which they are not invited. Prince Phillip and Prince Charles will be seen at the royal reception getting drunk in a corner and talking about the way things could have been if they were king. All the tattle-rags will care about is that Princess Fergie has gained 3 stone again.

9) Barak H. Obama, or whatever his name is, will still be president. Despite four years and millions of dollars spent preventing the release of a $20 certificate, obama will remain in the Hot Seat. In celebration, he will double the number of roual, oops, presidential vacations to 34, since plane wrecks really don't need a pilot to happen. Michelle will continue to have the top clothiers in the world design minimalist dresses that make her appear to shop at the Salvation Army. Yves Saint Laurent will be heard to quip that his designs back in the 70s had more panache. The Obama children will continue to attend elite private schools due to 'security concerns.' No one will notice, since that's what's expected for royalty, oops, presidents. Meanwhile, the 27th and 28th Social Security numbers for a 'Barak H. Obama' will be found, issued during Sarah Palin's governorship.

8) The Bush family will take up permanent residence on their sprawling estate in Paraguay. Since the country has no extradition treaty with the US, and the land sits atop the country's largest fresh water aquifer, the family will immediately feel right to home. 'Mumsy' and 'PawPaw' will encourage 'Shrub' to pursue his fascination with water and boards, with their new neighbors who were all helped to escape post-war Germany by 'Pappy' Prescott. The Twins will open their own cantina and strip-club, and begin producing a series of hit videos called, "Bush Gone Wild!" An unauthorized biography of the family will appear under the title, "Wide-Open Bush," by an unknown author using the nom-de-guerre, "Harry Clamso." Another book titled, "Bush and Dick: The Hidden Story," about the relationship of the former prez and veep, will rocket to the top of the New York Times best-seller list. It will detail what these two men did to the country and somehow be related to the tittle, though how is unclear, as of yet.

7) Julian Assange will be convicted of conscentual rape. The two female CIA assets will present multiple witnesses who clearly heard them say the word, "No," at breakfast the next morning, thereby converting the act into ex-post-facto rape. This will happen in spite of the 37 witnesses who were also at the orgy testifying that neither woman appeared to be refusing 'any one' in attendance. This will have a chilling effect on male-female relationships throughout the Western hemisphere, with a concomitant drop in birth-rates within months of the conviction. The radical feminist group, Lesbians Against the Y Chromasone, will hail the decision as a landmark victory for women everywhere. Sales of marital aids will jump 700% almost overnight. However, numerous lawsuits will begin cropping up against the manufacturers of the devices, claiming the plaintiffs were victimized 'in abscentia' by the male porn stars whose assets were used as models.

6) Pope Benedict XVI will die. The autopsy will reveal that he was the second cousin of Nazi financier Martin Boermann, which will lead to, among other things, a worldwide call for an audit of the Vatican Bank. Meanwhile, his successor, a Jewish convert and native Roman, will be elected and will take the name Peter II. This will cause Catholics throughout the world to believe the 'end is nigh,' based on the prophesy of St. Malachy, and they will begin selling all of their worldly goods. The result of one billion Catholics selling all they have will cause the price of everything to collapse in a deflationary sprial, which in turn is blamed on the Roman chruch, which leads to a pogrom against Catholics, which fulfills yet more prophesies, which leads to the rise of the Anti-Christ, who takes over Jerusalem and claims it as the capitol of the world. Nobody is paying much attention when the 12th Imam arrives.

5) Bruce Willis is cast in the lead of a remake of the classic Burt Lancaster vehicle, "Mr. 501." He plays a character names Bernard vonNothaus, who is captured and convicted of starting a rival currency to the Federal Reserve Note, which is backed by gold and silver in a Montana vault. Some say it is based on a true story, however no one can actually recall seeing a real "Liberty dollar." Meanwhile, John Travola is cast as Anton Lavey and Tom Cruise gets tapped to play L. Ron Hubbard, in the sequel to "Eyes Wide Shut," called "Jack Parson's Laboratory." Set against the dawn of the space age, Leonardo di Caprio plays the title character in this sensitive retelling of the founding of Jet Propulsion Laboratories (JPL). It receives widespread critical acclaim and plays to packed houses of Satanists, Neo-pagans and Goths. JK Rowling calls it, "Bigger than Harry!"

4) NAMBLA wins a major discrimination suit against the US government. The age of consent is immediately lowered to 10 months. Child Protective Services is disbanded so that they can enjoy their new-found freedom of expression. "Reach Out And Touch" parties spring up in major metropolitan areas, officiated by Catholic priests. European royalty celebrate with massive recruitment campaigns across Asia. Julian Assange is quoted in Rolling Stone as saying, "Damn! Twenty-five will get you twelve, but twelve will get you off." He is praised for the quality and subtlty of his double entendre. The head of Texas' CPS is quoted in the Des Moines Register as saying, "Finally, we don't have to steal people's children under the color of law to have our way with them!"

3) A 14-year-old Australian boy, who received a telescope for Christmas, spots an reddish-yellow object twice the size of Earth, just beyond the orbit of Jupiter. His subsequent observations show its ephemerous will bring it perilously close to Earth around December 2012. The tabloid press dub it 'Nebiriu,' but no one else pays much attention.

2) Silver will skyrocket to $150/oz. by the end of January. The metal's use in just about everything electronic, plus its health benefits, plus its re-emerging monetary value, combined with the fact there is less of it in tangible form than gold, cause a massive run-up in price. Saint John Hunt, son of E. Howard, is quoted as saying, "I wish I had all the silver dad used to own back in the 80s. I could prove JFK was the victim of a conspiracy then." JPMorganChase files for bankrupcy on March 1, which is immediately called, "TEOTWAWKI," by the MainStreamMedia, and hailed as, "The greatest moment in modern history," by Max Kaiser.

And the number one prediction for 2011?

1) "Life on the Far Side" will become the second-most Googled search term just behind "Jesse Ventura for President 2012."

Jesse's response? "I will finally get to fly again, since I don't have to deal with those TSA bastards on Air Force One."

26.12.10

Why Worry About Facts?

"Do you want to accompany me go to the chruch?" she asks in the standard Englishnesian syntax.

Can't think of anything I would less like to do, frankly. Two hours of hellfire and damnation speeches interspersed with over-loud rock-beat music and people speaking some kind of jibberish sold as 'the language of the angels.' Just doesn't appeal to me, especially since they generally completely mangle the facts.

"But it's Christmas," she protests.

Exactly. One of the most fact-deprived holidays of the christian calendar.

"It's Jesus' birthday. You must go to church," she protests.

Ah, just the opening I was hoping for. I love it when people step in the middle of their own ignorance. She's holding her modern mistranslation of previously mistranslated versions of The Book. I ask if I may see it.

I flip to Matthew. Ah, here it is...the shepherds were tending their flocks in the firlds when angels appeared in the heavens. I avoid the temptation to go into the validity of UFO sightings in biblical times and stick with the facts.

So, Jesus was born on December 25th, right?

"Yes, of course," she confidently replies.

I open Google and search for average weather patterns in Israel, a country which did not exist 2,000 years ago. Just as I suspected. December is the coldest, wettest and windiest month of the year. What damn fool shepherd would be tending his flocks in the fields in the dead of winter? But just to be sure, I look up current weather conditions in Bethlehem, a city which did not exist 2,000 years ago. Hmmm...10C, which is what? 50F, with a chance for rain. Sounds like perfect camp-in-the-field-with-sheep conditions to me.

"Things were different back then," she protests.

Oh, so global warming has made the region colder in the last 2,000 years? A familiar argument. Al Gore's been using it also. I understand. It's difficult when facts get in the way of a good story. So I click over to Roman fastivals, since Rome was around 2,000 years ago.

Would ya look at that...December 25th is the Roman fastival of the Birth of the Invincible Sun God. Gee, do you think there's a connection? After all, every modern christian faction is a break-away from the ROMAN church, which is a vestige of the ROMAN empire, which celebrates its rituals in basilicas, which originally were ROMAN indoor markets.

I'm just sayin'.

She has that blank look on her face that tells me that, like most christians, she has already turned off and tuned out. Most people don't want to hear facts that get in the way of fun fairy tales. But, I'm on a roll here.

So I launch into how Buddha and Mohammad were actual historical figures, whose lives are independently documented. Even Hinduism has evidence that their panteon may be based on actual, historical people and events millions of years ago, though the jury is still out. Christianity, however, requires one to take on faith that there was someone named Yeshua, who was a carpenter by trade, and who, at the age of 30, changed the world, leaving not a single historical trace of his existance.

However, there are remarkable similarieties between his story and a much older one, the story of Osiris, Isis and Horus. It's all there: virgin births through miraculous means, death and resurrections (using trees and 3 days, no less), betrayers (Seth), physical ascentions into heaven, all of it. There's even the strange way that Egypt keeps popping up in the whole Gospel storyline, not to mention numbers like 3, 13, 33 and so on.

It's still early and I haven't had enough coffe yet, so I avoid getting into the whole discussion on the etimological similarities between the names Osiris and Jesus, or the wine and bread rituals used by Egyptians and christians alike.

I really didn't want to get into Amun Ra, the highest of all Egyptian gods, the father Sun, whose name is used by many major religions when imploring the deity for favors. "Amen," "amin," "ohm," nearly everyone says, after they pray fro victory or wealth or another man's stuff. Nor did I want to get into the whole symbolism of the single eye of Amn Ra, or the All-Seeing Eye, or even the Indonesian word for "sun," matahari, which literally means 'eye of the day.'

She was still blankly staring at me, waiting for my response. Facts had completely unphased her. It's always the same argument. You have to make a leap of faith. You have to clear your mind and accept Jesus into your heart. And really, that's the problem. I can't turn off my rational mind and just swallow fairy tales as truth, especially when someone wants my hard-earned money to tell me that I'm a sinner for not following blindly in just the right way.

Nor can I accept religion. To me, it's just pro sports writ large. This team against that team. these players are stronger than those players. Killing millions to prove that this fairy tale is 'mo betta' than that one.

I can't believe that three gods are really just one. I can't believe that peace comes through war. I can't believe that love is proved by hate. I can't believe that law is established through chaos. My mind refuses to accept that black is white. I even have a hard time suspending disbelief at the movies. All I see up there is special effects, actors, lighting, camera angles, propaganda.

A control system is a control system, no matter how benign it purports to be. I do not follow. i do not lead, for that matter. I just present facts, research and think. Then I act on what I find.

I sure as hell don't want to be berated, sung to and babbled at for two hours, then asked to pay for the priviledge.

She was still waiting for my answer, as if my 38 minute diatribe had simply not occured.

OK, if it makes you happy, I'll go with you.

"Good, go take a bath," she ordered.

Now them's fightin' words.

24.12.10

Merry Christmas!

We here at LFS would like to wish you and your family the merriest of Christmases! We hope your travels are safe, your reunions joyful and your egg nog is well 'nogged.'

We, and we are using the royal 'we' since there's only one of us, are deeply grateful to you, the reader for helping us build an informative and entertaining site. We are receiving regular visitors from the States, Indonesia, China, S. Korea, Australia, France, Germany, Canada, the UK, russia, and several other countries. We have gone, in less than one year, from 10 readers per month to 1,500, and growing daily. We can see that folks are coming from the RSS feed, Google, other sites like UrbanSurvival (thanks George), and emailed links to various stories. People are checking us out with browsers, iPods, Blackberries, and a half-dozen other toys. thanks to all of you, especially those who write in to offer their two-cents worth.

In the coming months, we hope to expand our content with interviews and news reports from around the world, but especially Indonesia and Southeast Asia. We will endeavor to bring you ideas and information that you hopefully will find interesting and challenging.

Our eBay store is a work in progress, but when it's up and running, it will have unique crafts, jewelry, art, and things you can only find here, in the jungles of the Archipelago. Our Amazon bookstore has titles that we find entertaining and informative, and hopefully challenging.

And, of course, there's our usual acerbic take on Hidupan, Alam Semesta dan Semuanya (Life, the Universe and Everything). We don't pull any punches. We've gone head-to-head with the Beast and lost pretty much everything, so what's to fear? As our motto goes, "Fear is NOT an option!"

We hope you will continue to come back and enjoy our rants and tales from the Far Side. We also hope you will pass on the link to your friends, who might enjoy the kind of stuff we crank out around here. And if there's something you would like to see, tell us so we can make this site a going concern.

May you enjoy the blessings of liberty, the free pursuit of happiness and the health to use them. Thanks again, and God bless!

Sampai jumpa,
The Far Side Team (of one)

"Will I Get To Kill The English?"

The great line, spoken by the Irish character Stephen in Mel Gibson's seminal masterpiece "Braveheart" (which happens to be the meaning of my name), speaks volumes. That Mel has been persecuted by the monarchy, through their Zionist mouthpieces, is quite obvious, since a few of his films have decidedly anti-British themes. That Zionist are British tools is borne out by history. Don't believe me? Do your own research. I'm here to comment, not provide links to information most people won't read or won't believe anyway.

So what set me off this morning? An article in the Jakarta Post, which is little more than a distribution medium for PTB bullshit. That the newspaper has a join operating agreement with the International Herald Tribune, which itself is the multi-national propaganda arm of the New York Times, is your first clue.

Anyway, I could twist off on this for hours. The thing that set me off was a headline in the Jakarta Post: "Heathrow reopens but Dublin closed by snow."

Seems innocuous enough, right? But under the headline is a nifty little graphic with the title: "Why global warming makes the coldest winters."

That just pisses me off, and I mean that in the American sense, not the British.

The graphic comes from Reuters and is sourced to the Journal of Geophysical Research, which if anyone remembers, was thoroughly discredited by Climate-gate. The article has no by-line, just the tag Associated Press. So this is just a 'rip-and=run' piece that the editors rubber stamped with nary a critical eye, because it serves the PTB bullshit line. The fact that the article is unsourced tells me this is a press release from some unknown bullshit UN agency that has about as much 'research' behind it as my large intestine.

The article says that global warming causes the oceans to heat up, which melts the polar ice, which causes hot to rise and forces cold air to the ground. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I almost gagged on my coffee and nasi goreng. Somehow this process causes incredibly cold winters, but only in the northern hemisphere. For some reason, it works differently down-under.

There is no mention how for eons, the polar ice has melted every summer, or how the ice cap has actually expanded from 'traditional' regions in the winter. No mention about how the atmosphere has actually cooled for the last 15 years. No mention about how the oceans haven't warmed appreciably since records have been kept.

And no mention of the Gulf Stream current, which interestingly was fouled by the largest oil spill in history by who? Oh yeah, BRITISH Petroleum. Nor is there mention of how the Gulf Stream has gathered heat from the Gulf of Mexico and released it on the western coast of Ireland, where the hear has kept Ireland snow-free, and northern Europe reasonably free of major winter blasts for centuries.

Then BRITISH Petroleum completely bum-boogers the Gulf Stream in March of this year. It proceeds to use a chemical dispersant, produced by a company that it owns, to hide the oil rather than clean it up, as they could have done with some nifty little bacteria from a Texas company. The oil in turn prevented the Gulf waters from heating up normally in the summer, so that, lo and behold!, Europe has the coldest winter ever recorded, Ireland has severe snow-fall, and major winter storms are being reported all across the norther hemisphere.

Bloody BRITISH.

Amazingly, none of my students have ever heard of Climate-gate. Since Indonesia stands to make a lot of money in carbon-trading, the government blithly joins in the chorus of global warming. Since the country is bathed in forests, piles of NGOs are running around throwing millions of dollars ar conservation, even though no one mentions that trees respire carbon dioxide at nighttime (look it up). I spend as much time deprogramming my kids and teaching them to think critically, as I do teaching American English.

I am always amazed how people will swallow this rubbish simply because it comes from some 'authority,' when ten minutes' worth of reading will prove every word is a flat-out lie. And even when they read the truth, people have been so indoctinated that they can't imagine going against an 'authority,' and so default back to the bullshit. Even when the bullshit absolutely defies simple logic.

Hot air rises. Cold air sinks. Basic elementary science. That's why hot air balloons work. Yet, somehow, according to the simple-minded graphic is the Post today, is the cause of Europe's winter woes. Furthermore, it tries to hornswaggle us into believing that armer oceans, i.e. warmer Gulf Stream current, causes worse winter temperatures in Europe.

Do they really think we are THAT stupid? It just really chaps my hide when so-called 'authorities' talk down to me whith their brainless drivel, as if I am incapable of research and critical thinking. That may work in America, where everyone is fluoridated, anti-depressed and chemtrailed into a stupor, but thankfully, none of that here.


It's gratifying to see their faces when, as reading exercises, we look at articles and emails from so0called 'experts' who admit they lied, fudged and disembled. We read how the IPCC was forced to admit that Himalayan glaciers are advancing, not receding. We read how Greenpeace admitted that polar melts are part of a natural seasonal process. How trees give off as much CO2 as oxygen in their normal cycles, or how governments lie out of sheer greed.

These poor kids have been fed holf an argument for so long they honestly don't know there's another side to it. When I give them search strings to put into Google, you can hear the buzz in the room as first one, then another, start pulling up real information on their cell phones. It's why I'm in such demand as a teacher. I teach how to think, not what to think. I open up new lines of inquiry and show that the world is far more interesting and dangerous than the simplistic pablum they are fed from 'approved' cirricula. The sixth graders can't wait to get to seventh grade so they can have my classes. I even make learning a second language more than just grammar and vocabulary...it's an adventure!

When I was a kid, pre-Vatican II, the Catholic Church had a censorship board that marked books as OK for Catholics to read. At the beginning of such books, there was a page with the "Nihil Obstat," and "Imprimatur." In others words, 'nothing obstructing' and 'order to print.' These books were approved so that Catholics wouldn't have their little worlds shaken with real information. After Vatican II, that practice was done away with in favor of the IPCC, WWF, Greenpeace, et al., doing the same thing. Anything that doesn't tow the party line is forbidden to us rubes out here because we might start to question the PTB. That's not good. Can't have the serfs thinking for themselves.

You see, a bad education and no education are the same. Whether you are unable or unwilling to seek the truth, the result is the same. Illiterate and literate with blinders doesn't make a difference. Ignorance, whether willful or forced, has the same outcome.

It's just like the whole 'democracy' thing. My poor kids all spout democracy like it's some great thing. All it takes is five minutes to completely destroy that idea.

"Suppose," I say, "that tomorrow, more than half of all Indonesians became christian." You can see them trying to picture that one. "Now, since they are the majority, and everyone believes in democracy, they can make a law that no one can practice Islam ever again. Still sounds like a good idea?"

Suddenly, a republic looks much better.

"When everyone is running to the left, you might want to seriously consider going to the right," I say. "History shows that whatever the majority believes is probably wrong."

I usually get applause at the end of every class. Can't imagine why.

So, what all this comes back to is this: the Bastards are trying desparately to hold on to their carbon credits and to get control over the very breaths we take. They already charge us for water and energy, and they have a stranglehold on food. Now, if they can make us pay to breathe, then it sounds like we will owe every aspect of our lives to THEM. The BRITISH, Dutch and Roman church are behind it, just as they have been for centuries. Once an empire, always an empire. The Roman Empire survives in the Catholic Church. The BRITISH empire survives in the Commonwealth. The Dutch empire survives in the banking system. It's all still here, just gone stealth.

All it takes is about five minutes on Google with the right search string to completely destroy those empires and take back our God-given breath.

The next time you hear someone say something non-sensical, like global warming causes sever winters, tell them to Google "Gulf Stream current, location of BP oil spill." Cross-referencing the two, plus a quick read about the effects of the current should be enough to wake up all but the most zombified.

If Stephen were to ask me, "Will I get to kill the English?" I could reassure him that they've already done it to themselves, and they are taking the rest of Europe with them.

Bloody BRITISH.

21.12.10

The Confession

Your heart is heavy as you reach to tug open the door of the Holy Depository. You try to move inconspicuously around the edge of the main chamber and take a number with as few people seeing you as possible. You spot your neighbor. You feel a little better because you know he used his lawnmower over the weekend, so you are not the only one.

At the far end, under an enormous clock and an LED with the number 48 showing on the display, is a line of cubicles. The display changes to show number 49 as a weeping young woman exits one of the cubicles, and a rather rotund middle-aged man walks in. You stare at the woman, just knowing that she used a hairdrier or traded sex for A/C. It makes you feel somewhat better about your own transgressions.

You glance down at your number. 57. You have a few minutes, so you sit quietly in the waiting area to say a prayer to the All-Seeing Eye.

After a short wait, your number comes up. You stand, but keep your eyes firmly fixed on the floor. You want to appear properly sorrowful, and also you don't want to see if anyone is watching you go in.

As you enter the cubicle, a cheerful round face greets you on a monitor.

"Welcome sinner. Please insert your credit or debit card in the slot below before beginning. All charges will be automatically processed for your convenience. In the event that you have insufficient funds, a hold will be placed on future deposits until the amount is paid in full.

"Eye bless you and happy penitence, my slave."

You slide your card into the slot and press your right thumb onto the pad until the little light comes on. Then you take your seat just as a small window slides open and a shadowy figure sits back on the other side of the wall and adjusts his tie.

"Bless me, Banker, for I have sinned. It has been two weeks since my last confession."

"Yes, my slave, go on."

"Well, last Sunday, I packed up the family and a picnic lunch and we took a totally frivolous drive in the country. The other day, I set the thermostat at 65 just because I was tired of sweating and changing my shirt four times a day. We had this tree that was rubbing on the house every time the wind blew, and the roots were starting to break up the foundation of the house, so I cut it down, and I had the intention of using the wood for fires next winter. Last week, I couldn't make up my mid what I wanted to eat, so I stood with the refrigerator door open for ten minutes. I've been nervous because of reports of robberies in my neighborhood lately, so I've been leaving the porch light on at night. Also, I've been watering my lawn because I am tired of the big brown spots in front of the house.

"I am heartily sorry for having offended my Lord and I beg forgiveness for my sins. Amen."

"My slave, we all wish for those little comforts that we used to enjoy. That's why we have gone to so much trouble to keep the banks cold inside and have nice little gardens in the front, so you can find respite in this time of trouble.

"We are all human, and prone to fail every now and then. Just remember that it is your fault, through the Original Sin of Selfishness that has led us to this point. Whenever you have a moment of weakness and feel like you might sin again, just take your Holy Flog and beat yourself until the feeling passes. It's not easy being holy, you know.

"Do you feel true remorse for your sins?"

"Yes, Banker, I do."

"Good, my slave. I want you to say 10 Green Mantras, buy three carbon credits and plant two new trees to replace the one you cut down.

You are absolved from your sins, in the name of the Franklin, the Grant and the Holy Jackson. Amen.

"Go in peace and sin no more, my slave. Please remember to take your credit card on the way out. Eye bless you!"

The small window slides shut and you sit for a moment, feeling light and almost giddy. You sins has weighed on you for the past couple of weeks, but now you had cleared your conscience and had just paide to plant coastal bermuda grass on seven hectare of sensitive wetlands. How could you feel more joy? And it only cost $70. What a bargain!

You stand and take your card from the slot and pause while you wait for your receipt. As you pull it off, you turn with almost the grace and poise of a ballet dancer, as you float out into the waiting area once again, only this time your head is held high and there's a small grin on your face. You quickly scan the room and see all those still waiting, looking somber and embarassed. How sad, you think. So many sinners.

As you burst into the cool afternoon sun, you almost want to burst into song. Even as you crush yourself into the mass transit train with thousands of other sinners, you feel at peace for having saved a small part of this great planet. You've seen picutres of it from satellite and it looks so beautiful and serene, just haning in space. You almost commit another sin by wishing you could leave your residential camp and see just a little of it. Your dad used to tell you stories about travelling around on airplanes and going to different parts of the world.

You catch yourself just as your are about to sin. Thankfully, you are in a state of grace, having just come from confession. You make a mental note to donate $10 to Greenpeace in thanksgiving for not sinning this time.

The mass transit disgorges you on to a dreary grey platform in a dreary grey residence block, where you walk up 15 flights of stairs to your two room flat. Your wife and only child greet you.

You child looks up at you and examines your eyes.

"Dad, you look different."

"Yes, my child. I went to confession today."

"Oh boy! Now I can tell my playgroup that we don't have to report you to the Conservation Board! I'm so happy, Dad! What was your penence?"

"I had to buy three carbon credits. Oh, and I have to say 10 Green Mantras."

"Great, Dad! We can do that after dinner. As a family!"

You look at your wife. She is beaming with pride and you shoot her a quick smile.

"We saved the bathwater allotment for you dear," she winks. "It's still pretty clean. Why don't you freshen up before dinner?"

"What's on the menu tonight, dear?"

You wife can hardly contain herself, "Are you ready for this? I got use some protein paste and algae cakes!"

"What?! How in the world...?"

"I was on my way home from my third job," she gushes, "When I saw that the weekly quota was being delivered. I got in there and beat the crowds!"

You can hardly control yourself. You grab her and plant a big, sloppy kiss on her forehead. "I am so lucky to have been assigned to breed with you!"

"Dad..."

You look over to see your child standing with the dreaded Sin Log and pen ready.

"Do I have to write you up for Public Display of Affection?"

You cut a quick glance at your wife and then everyone begins to chuckle.

"Oh, you know it's Affection Night. What a kidder!"

The whole family embraces in a fastive mood.

"Eye bless us, every one," your genetically perfect child says.

19.12.10

A Note From Dreamtime

Good evening, my fellow Americans.

By the grace of God, I come before you tonight as you newly elected President, and it is with God's blessing that I will outline to you the following actions and policies which I have initiated today as my first acts in office. Be aware that any one of the steps I have taken today is enough to get me killed. To that end, I have received a thorough medical examination, and I have posted the results on the White House website. As you will see, I am in good physical health with no obvious reason to expect that I should suffer any condition that will impede my ability to serve out my term in office. Be assured that if I die in office, for any reason at all, it will be murder, plain and simple.

At this moment, you may be asking yourself why I would make such a statement. During my campaign, I outlined a set of policies that I would follow, if elected, and I intend to do exactly what I promised you. By some miracle, I was allowed to come this far, so I will not stop now.

What I am about to outline to you will involve some pain on the part of every man, woman and child in this country, but whatever the cost, it will be far less than what we face in the alternative. these are the only possible actions that will save our great nation from sure destruction at the hands of a shadowy cabal, called by my predecesor, Dwight D. Eisenhauer, the Military-Industrial compl\ex. To his statement I would add banking, as well. Our Founders took very careful steps to avoid allowing these groups to have 'undue influence' over the national life of this country, and I intend, beginning tonight, to cure the cancer that has eaten the heart out of our nation and our people by compromising our health, destroying our money, stealing our wealth and compromising our dreams and ambitions.

By electing me, you have shown the world that 'we the people' still have power and the strength of will to exercise it in the face of great adverity. You have clearly announced your desire to return to the rule of Law and the Constitution as our founding principles. My election to office is the sound of your voice being heard. Rest assured that I will answer that call without hesitation or reservation.

In the last 100 days, I convened a federal Grand Jury to review the actions of my predecessors, of whom five survive. Three days ago, that Grand Jury handed down sealed indictments against James Carter, Geore H. W. Bush, Willian Clinton, George W. Bush, and Barak Obama. Those indictments are being posted on the Department of Justice website at this moment. Because of Texas' unique status under international law and the unquestionable loyalty of the Texas Rangers, I have instructed them to serve arrest warrants on those five men. At this moment, three are in custody, however the Bush family has escaped to Paraguay. We are initiating extradition hearings with Paraguay as of this morning.

My next act was to sign these papers in front of me. They are an Executive Order, a Presidential Directive and General Orders for the military, hereby cancelling all previous orders and directives. An ongoing state of emergency, which has led to decades of abuses of power by the federal government, is now cancelled, and all powers granted to the Executive Branch under the Emergency Powers Act are no longer in force.

In the past 100 days, I appointed a group of trusted individuals to find an elite corps of soldiers, both active and retired, who are still loyal to their oaths and to the Constitution. This morning I ordered those men to surround the Federal Researve buildings in New York and here in Washington D.C., and to hold all the occupants and records as evidence of treason and other serious crimes. The Chairman and the Board are currently under arrest and being held over for trial at the soonest possible time.

I have instructed my new Treasury Secretary to take a full and open accounting of all precious metal holdings by the federal government, and to begin issuring gold and silver coins and Treasury certificates as the lawful currency of these united States. As of this moment, the federal government will no longer pay nor receive in payment Federal Reserve Notes of any denomination. I have also directed the Treasury Secretary to repudiate any and all debt to the Federal Reserve as being unconstitutional and treasonous, including any and all interest on that debt.

I wish to assure our allies and trading partners that all Treasury bonds and certificates will be honored at full face value, backed by the full faith and credit of these united States.

As Commander-in-Chief of our Armed Forces, I have recalled all of our troops from overseas, to be repositioned on our southern border immediately to secure our nation against its most dire threat. That order was issued last month, and already 38% of our men and women in uniform have been mobilized. We have currently secured the California and Arizona borders, while citizen militias have been deputized in New Mexico and Texas to serve until such time as we can reposition our troops.

As of yesterday morning, I have given notice to all federal employees who work in unconstitutional agencies that they have 30 days to organize and catalogue everything under their control and then clear their personal belongings to begin an indefinite furlough pending Constitutional review of their positions. This includes, but is not limited to, the FBI, CIA, NSA, NRO, DHS, TSA,and ICE. I have ordered the Department of Justice to investigate any and all reports of abuses by agents of these organizations, and to personally prosecute all complaints of merit.

I have ordered the dismantling of all apparati, including visual, audio and digital surveillance being used against any and all citizens of these united States. We will no longer treat the citizens of this nation as enemies of the state, nor will any agency of the federal government be responsible for impinging on the natural rights of human beings, especially those who are citizens of this great nation. Security functions are in the process of being turned over to the States, where they rightfully belong, and where abuses can be better controlled by the citizenry of the States.

Because my predecessor was unable or unwilling to prove his lawful citizenship and ability to serve in this office, I am declaring any and all laws, regulations, decisions, and orders issued under his administration unconstitutional and invalid.

I have ordered the declassification of any and all documents, materials and objects held by the federal government, and I have ordered the GAO to begin accepting applications from academics, researchers and the press to enter the archives and restricted areas anywhere in these united States for the purposes of releasing any and all information held within. Teams of journalists and researchers have already been allowed into Area 51, the National Archives and White Sands, and others are being approved at this time. All public information belongs to the public and will be made available in the most expedient and organized fashion possible. The priority of this office will be to review the certification and adoption of certain Constitutional Amendments related to the Federal Reserve, the Internal Revenue Service and the income tax, and to the election of Senators. Any irregularity in the ratification process will be grounds for eliminating those amendments.

I have ordered the Justice Department to immediately cease enforcement of any and all federal firearms laws related to the private sale, ownership and use of firearms by American citizens. Related to this, I have ordered all the agents involved with Waco and Ruby Ridge to be arrested and held pending a full investigation of those inciedents.

I have already selected and empowered a new commission to investigate the 9/11 attacks. They will hold hearings in full public view and all credible witnesses, researchers and evidence will be brought forth, so that the American people will know the full truth of those events.

I have directed the Secretary of State to contact the Canadian and Mexican governments and notify them that these united States will no longer honor the NAFTA and GATT agreements, and all activities related to and coming from those agreements will halt immediately. I have also directed the State Department to begin proceedings to withdraw these united States from the United Nations and to review all treaties currently in effect for any usurpations of our precious Constitution and national sovereignty.

Furthmore, I am ordering the State Department to formally notify the nations of the world that these united States are adopting a neutral position with regards to any and all regional conflicts. We will be happy to assume a role as neutral party in any negotiations, however we will no longer take sides or offer the precious lives of our sons and daughters to defend foreign langs and peoples. We were warned by our first president to avoid entangling ties with foreign powers and it is the intention of this administration to return to that wise admonition.

My fellow Americans, I have outlined only the broadest actions undertaken by my administration tonight, but I assure you that there are many others in process now. For too long, we have suffered under the yoke of secretive powers who have sucked the life-blood out of our people, and it is time to take back what is rightfully ours, and ensure that it doesn't happen again.

The work of reversing decades of abuse will be a long and painful one, but in the end, we will hand to our children the rich bounty that our land has to offer. We will ensure their rights and futures unbound by the mistakes of the past and guarantee their ability to pursue life, liberty and happiness.

I am reminded of the admonition of Jesus Christ in the New Testament, "If your right eye offends you, pluck it out and put it away from you." This will not be easy nor will it happen overnight. We are correcting a long line usurpations beginning with such notable people as John Adams and Abraham Lincoln, but it can and must be done, or our precious sons and daughters, and theirs, will become slaves on the land that our forefathers fought so fiercely to bequeath to us.

I implore each of you to remain calm and to bear the inconveniences that will surely follow. Remember what we are trying to achieve and that any pain we feel is not from our actions, but from those who would enslave us. This is a powerful moment in history. We are the last great hope for all the peoples of the Earth. The world looks to America for leadership and opportunity, and we will provide it. We will demonstrate once again, as our foregathers did, that liberty and freedom create properity and wealth for all, not just the few who see us as useless eaters.

We are all products of the One Creator, who has made us in His image, and who has empowered us individually with value and sacred purpose.

Tonight, we embark once again on a great adventure, no less momentous than any of Mankind's greatest achievements. Do not allow anyone to divide us in our purpose, either race against race, religion against religion, or cause against cause, for that is the secret power of evil. Tonight we stand united as one people with one purpose: Liberty. There is no greater purpose. Future generations will look back at this moment and praise us for setting them free.

Let us not tolerate unfounded conspiracy theories, because there are enough real ones to fight, and we have taken the first steps in that momentous effort.

Through it all, I Jesse Ventura, will be your humble servant in office, but let no one mistake my service for weakness. There is no fear but what we imagine in our nightmares, and the nightmare is almost over. Real security, real prosperity and real happiness are within our grasp now. Be steadfast and resolute, and we will win this fight.

Good night and God bless.

18.12.10

Coming Attractions

Fletcher Stansbury explains it all for you.

Imagine this:

You wake up one morning and pick up the morning propaganda off the front lawn. The top headline blares, "Feds Declare Emergency, Fuel, Power Rationing." Can't happen? Already did, likely to your great-grandparents, grandparents or parents (depending on the ages of the reader). Somewhere in all my junk, I've got books of rationing stamps. In my own memory, I distinctly remember when you could only buy gasoline on alternating days, depending on your license tag number or flag color. If you were lucky, you owned two cars, one with odd numbers and one with even. Heck, that was just 30 years ago.

As you unfold the paper and walk back to the house, you can't imagine what could be worse news. After all, you watched the Dow Jones crater to below 2,000 in the past month, wiping out any dream you had of retiring in five years. The newspaper practically falls apart in your hands because the material it's printed on is so flimsy. Below the fold is a list of actions being announced by the federal government, to take effect immediately. There is also a box with locations of stamp-issuing authorities, including most post offices and schools.

Among the new measures: there will be mandatory national blackouts and curfews from 6pm to 6am daily, anyone caught out after curfew will be shot; you can only withdraw $100 in cash every three days; the work week has been shortened to three days and you will only be able to use approved public transportation or carpools with 8 or more people; beginning next week, you will have to use the New Dollar, which will give you $10 for every $100, after that ATMs will only allow the withdrawl of $10 every three days; every household will only be allowed to register one vehicle and receive a special tag, and then that tag will only allow you to buy 10 gallons of gasoline per week; you will only be allowed to buy a certain amount of groceries per family per week, anyone exceeding the limit will be arrested and charged with terrorism; National Guard troops will be stationed at checkpoints across all major cities and along highways; patrols will begin going door to door within the week to collect registered guns...

The sleep is slowly leaving your brain as you try to figure out if this is real or if you are still in bed asleep. Suddenly, all the TVs in the house come on at the same time, with a tone and the logo of DHS and a note to stand by for important information. You look at the converter box display. It shows a double asterix, which you've never seen before. You try to change the channel, then turn off the TV, but nothing happens. You unplug it and the converter box begins emitting an ear-piercing screetch. You unplug the box, but the noise continues. You plug it all back in, but now there is a voice saying, "Do not attempt to turn off your set."

The picture switches to an image of the Presidential Seal haning on a podium just as the Prez walks into frame.

"Good morning. The country has been deeply affected by the current economic crisis. As of last night, I have signed an order declaring the bankruptcy of the United States. The country is now in receivership under the Federal Reserve, which has issued austerity measures to be administered by the Department of Homeland Security and FEMA. Troops are being stationed at key locations all around the country to prevent unrest. I ask that all Americans remain calm and stay in your houses until further notice. If you are travelling right now, you will come to a check point soon, where you will be given further instructions."

You notice that Janet Napolitano steps up to the podium, but by now you are in a daze and don't really hear what she has to say. You suddenly notice your kids holding on to your legs and staring at the TV. You son asks, "What's wrong, Daddy?" The only real answer you can think of is, "I voted for the wrong peole, Son."

Outside, you can already hear screaming and gunshots. You don't bother to look, because it doesn't matter if it is gangs or soldiers. It's all pretty much the same now.

Your wife, who had been watching from the doorway quietly goes the to kitchen and checks the pantry and fridge. Almost empty. She was planning to go shopping this afternoon.

Your eyes lowered to your kids again, who were still riveted to the TV. You thought about your crazy old Dad, who had bought some land out in the middle of nowehere after Mom died. You remembered laughing at him when he dug a huge hole in the middle of the land, put a water well inside of that, and then buried two freight containers there before building a pretty nice little house on top of the whole thing. You thought about all those fruit trees he had planted and the piles of canned goods, water filters and solar panels he had bought. All you could think of was that your inheritance was pretty much shot to hell now.

You pictured Dad out there right now. He didn't own a TV and he had this whacky internet system that made him invisible on the net. At the time, you had seriously considered having him committed. At the moment, all you could think about was the security and the food he had there.

Dad had been twisting off on government conspiracies and economic theories for decades. It all just rolled off of you like water off a duck. This was America, after all, the richest, most powerful nation on Earth. You wished you had listened a little, just now.

You mind was scrambling now, trying to think of some way to get out to his place. In the fog, you heard Big Sis talking about shutting down the interstates and cordoning off the cities. You mind was full of a weird mix of regret, anger and panic, but you could only stand there with the paper in your hand, looking down at your children.

---

It could never happen, right?

The Jews thought it would never happen. The Russians thought it would never happen. The Germans and Yugoslavians thought it could never happen. The Chinese, Vietnamese and Cambodians thought it could never happen. The American Indians thought it would never happen. The Japanese Americans thought it could never happen. Your grandparents thought it could never happen.

Get ready, it's about to happen to you.

There is an amount of debt floating around the US right now, accumulating in the US Treasury, that involves numbers that are beyond comprehension. To even begin to ponder it makes your mind recoil in horror, and you immediately slip into denial. Some estimates put it as high as $1.2 QUADRILLION. At some point in the next six to twelve months, it will become unsustainable, as Americans will not be able to pay even the interest on it.

The United States has lived in a dream world for the past 30 years. It has occupied a niche that is unique in all of world history. Never before has there been a nation with a global reserve currency. Oh, you can argue that Rome did, but their money was gold, silver and copper coins. Ours is what? Cotton paper with red and blue threads, and some nifty engraving and special inks? It's only backing has been "the full faith and credit" of the government.

Well, guess what? The credit is running out and folks are losing faith.

Your best bet? Start stocking up like there's no tomorrow. The priority is food and water. Then start looking around for alternative currencies. Something like the Liberty Dollar. Join or start barter clubs and co-ops. Put any savings you have left in silver and/or get it out of the US while it's still legal. I recommend Indonesia, but you do your own homework.

Sell all non-essential things in your house and convert them to something useful, like those mentioned above. Get out of the cities. Get off the grid.

Everyone always thinks it can never happen here, but I live in a country where it happened 12 years ago and most folks still have vivid memories of what happened. All I can tell you, is you don't want to be in the middle of it, especially in America where things are likely to be far worse, since folks there have never had to live through that kind of event. How many people do you know, just off the top of your head, who think that roughing it is going without a hair drier?

Run, don't walk, to the nearest exit. Think about all the stuff you know now that was just kooky conspiracy theories just 10 years ago. Black helicopters, false flag terror attacks, gold at over $1,000 per ounce. How about FEMA camps and border wars with Mexico? How about Russia and China dumping the dollar

Just kooky theories, right?

I'm just that weird dad in the woods, after all.

Get ready, here comes another theory. And this one WILL hurt.

Sacrificing Mercury

In Roman mythology, there was a character named Mercury who was the son of Jupiter and the messenger of Olympus, as well as the god of commerce and trade. In fact, the name Mercury is related to the Latin words mercari (I trade) and merces (he receives wages). Mercury is commonly represented as a young man with a snappy little hat with wings on it. His visage can be found on old American sliver dimes, among other coins, or the logo of FTD florists.

Mercury's primary function was to bring messages from Olympus down to us mere mortals. In his function as a god, he embodies the concept of information being critical to commerce and trade.

With that being said, we jump to today's headlines. Julian Assange of WikiLeaks fame is the modern archtype of Mercury: the soft-looking young man bringing messages from on high, and for that he is being sacrificed, along with commerce and trade, on the altar of the New World Order (Latin- Novus Ordo Seclorum, see back of $1 note). By killing the messenger, THEY will be able to kill trade and control the receipt of wages.

Don't you just love this symbolic stuff?


You see, Assange was one of these elite hacker types in his teen years. The problem is he got caught and was threatened with a life of prison and being banned from touching computers. As an alternative, he could get on the CIA payroll and wait to be activated. In the meantime, he could feed his personal foibles with a steady stream of cash, which further served his masters, as they could build a dossier of blackmail material to ensure Assange's submission.

Assange has been handed a pile of communique's to dispatch to the world so that Jupiter can use the fall-out to achieve some basic goals in the realm of control. Dutifully, Assange carried the message to us and, on cue, the US and UN have introduced piles of new laws and regulations to control information and commerce.

I kinda miss the old days. Back then, the denizens of Olympus were much more subtle. One had to really study a situation, look closely at all the little details, decoding all the hidden symbols. Ever since 9/11, though, they've gotten lazy. Everything is just blatant. The symbols are right out there in your face. Even someone with a modicrum of knowledge about symbology, numerology and mythology.

For instance, NASA's manipulation of Sacred Geometry, hyperdimensional physics and symbols took Richard Hoagland years to decipher. It involved complex math, looking at the positions of stars over certain significant locations on multiple planets and moons, and carefully linking together names and symbols.

The BP oil disaster was so obvious. It happened on April 19th, which is the occult day of sacrifice by fire. It was the same date as Hitler's birthday, the Waco massacre, Oklahoma City bombing, the Columbine massacre, and dozens of other significant events throughout history.

Back to Assange, he is being set up as a hero of the freedom-loving people of the world. He was arrested and jailed on trumped up charges of having concentual sex without a condom by a woman with deep ties to the CIA (his co-worker in other words). The information he had given us was meaningless gossip that was cut and paste from worldwide media sources, so no real information. His release on WikiLeaks, that is funded by George Soros, plus the carefully orchestrated frame-up, is forcing everyone to see him as a hero. Ultimately, the 'leaks' will be used as an excuse to shut down the internet, and then Assange will be sacrificed publically to demoralize freedom-lovers.

It's all a psy-op.

You see, the corporate media is under direct and life-threatening attack by the alternative, democratic reporting with people writing blogs, doing real investigations and research, using phone-cams to show without question the abuses of the System. We are slowly weaning ourselves away from the 'authority' model of corporate media. Why do we need 'authorities' to tell us what to think when we can see the evidence for ourselves.

Remember when George W. Shrub ran around the world with his secret evidence of al-CIAda and Usable bin Hidin'? Like a flasher in the park, he would wing his way to a high-level meetings with 'leaders', where he would open his London Fog trench coat. Out would fall billions of dollars in 'aid' and suddenly the 'leaders' would announce their unqualified support for invading Iraq, which had nothing to do with 9/11.

Notice how the corporate media always trots out the same handful of 'authorities' and 'experts' to tell us what everything means. It's the same faces and same messages on every channel. But the internet gives us multiple outlets for real information. We can link and paste from a wide range of sources. We can explore history and context. We can spend hours researching single topics and customize our headlines with key-words so that we only see meaningful information without all the bread-and-circuses. We can read viewpoints from all over the world.

That is really dangerous to those who would corral and control us.

I'll always vividly remember life on the farm when I was a kid. We would round up the cattle and herd them into chutes, where we would dust 'em, brand 'em, vaccinate 'em, and cut their balls off. Sound familiar? Go look at videos of bread lines or look up photos of vaccination projects in the 'third world.' Same thing, different animals.

You know something is going on when worldwide corporate media is breaathlessly casting the spotlight on WikiLeaks and Assange. They don't give that kind of attention to someone unless they get some benefit from it. It's like my days working in local news in Houston. The assignment board would list the event, the reporter, the cameraman, and the angle that they wanted to show. That's right, before the team showed up to the scene, we already knew what we were supposed to show. We weren't reporting news, we were gathering pictures to go with a prepackaged story, which was the same story at all the affiliates acros the country.

I know what i am talking about when I tell you how the media work.

So, here is our Mercury, doing the bidding of Jupiter, his father. Olympus has spoken.

The question is, will we kill the gods again, or in this resurrection, will they finally conquer us and enjoy eternal worship from their servants on Earth?

Depends on if you're awake or not, I suppose.

17.12.10

Blog-lodyte ®

Who could've imagined this blogging thing could be so fun!

Sometime this weekend, we here at LFS will mark the passing of several milestones all at one time. We will see our 5,000th visitor, our 100th post and we will have made $15. Not bad for 10 months worth of work.

We're not even being facetious.

It is pretty fun. We get to vent our spleen on all kinds of topics, as well as tell some of our better travel tales (we promise to finish Road to Marrakesh soon). We also get to comment on just how weird and wonderful life is here on the Far Side.

We are also approaching our third anniversary since arriving here. Back then, everything blew us away! It was all so strange and foreign and just left of normal. Now we have become inculcated into the lifestyle. We wear sandals all the time and take our shoes off at the front door out of habit. We eat with our hands and belch and fart at the table, because that is what one is upposed to do. "Better out than in," as Shrek would say. We have become conversant in five new languages, as well. Not a single one is usable outside Indonesia, but it makes for fun small talk with tourists.

When we came here, we weighed 280 lbs., and had a long, quickly whitening beard (which was begun at puberty and never fully shaved until arriving here). We are now down to 200 lbs. and our face is naked. We call it the Balikpapan diet: eat only Top Ramen and walk 12 kilometers every day for six months. It works!

We now touch our hand to our chest reflexively after shaking hands with someone, as is the custom. We call everyone 'pak' or 'bu,' if they are older than us (which is getting rarer every year), or 'mas' and 'mbak,' if younger. And everyone calls us 'om,' or 'bule kampung,' depending on the crowd.

Iyr closet is now full of batik shirts and short pants (blessedly not Burmuda shorts) and we don't remember the last time we had a hamburger, which we plan to remedy soon with a little home grillin' on the new smoker. In fact, we don't eat much American food at all these days. We do occasional whip up a batch of burritos or our world-famous spaghetti sauce, which draws folks from all over town who want to try the exotic foreign foods. We have now officially celebrated Thanksgiving here and, if the hunt is successful, will enjoy our first Christmas ham in years in two weeks. Won't be inviting the Muslim friends for that feast, we suppose.

Making physical contact with cars and other motorcycles is no longer terrifying, as it happens about five times a day (no exaggeration there). For six months of the year, we carry a change of clothese and rain gear everywhere. We have gotten used to the precisely 12-hour day, and no appreciable change in seasons (just higher or lower humidity). We have learned how to use the 'force field' when crossing streets and know the fair price of all transportation options here.

We love durien and mangosteen and star fruit, and have even developed a taste for chocolate-avocado smoothies. We have eaten things that are illegal in half the world, and unidentifiable in most of that world. We have enjoyed bugs, snakes, dogs, bats, and sea creatures that the WWF has declared extinct. We have even gotten used to having only toilet paper on the table, instead of napkins.

We have gotten used to monkeys in the trees and the idea of wild tigers and rhinos running around. We have seen orangutans in their natural state and Kimoto dragons crossing the road. We have been stung by hornets the size of hummingbirds and stepped on millipedes almost as long as our foot.

We have learned that Indonesian TV is just as inane as American, but we enjoy balancing our news intake between Anglo-American propaganda and Sino-Arabic. We have found some Indo bands and even a few movies that are really good (like "Laskar Pelangi"), but that no one will ever know outside Indonesia. We even stay up on Indonesian politics so we can start a good bar fight when things are too quiet.

And through it all, we have endeavored to report it all, good, bad and indifferent, to you, dear reader. Sometimes it comes out rather incoherently, because there's just so much to say it's hard to compress it all. We have tried to use our unique position to put a little perspective on things 'back home.' We have even managed to squeeze out a little humor in between the rants, though we will concede that is a matter of taste.

We also enjoy the amazingly thoughtful and insightful email we get from readers. That is the most gratifying part of this project (though getting rich and retiring wouldn't get kicked out of bed either). We have made some great contacts, not only in other countries, but right here in Indoland, as well. We hope that our readers will be moved to come back regularly, and pass on the link to others of equally warped mentalities.

Oh, and we'd be remiss if we didn't mention that the eBay experience will be launched soon selling handcrafts from this side of the planet, all hand-made and all direct from the creator/manufacturer to your hot little hands, with only us and FedEx stinding in the middle, of course. So keep an eye out for that one.

In the meantime, thanks for stopping by the Far Side, and we hope to see you around the net.

And to our ex-girlfriend from a loooooong time ago, whose last name was Blog, do you wish you had copyrighted your name now?

We're just wondering...

14.12.10

Ethics Are Immoral

You can tell Al Gore is warming the planet. His mouth is moving.

This is one of those issues that has become so knee-jerk that almost no one ever thinks rationally about it. We have all been told that carbon dioxide is the key substance that is causing a trend towards global environmental warming. We are told that in order to combat this situation, we must trade carbon credits, limit release of carbon dioxide and create global taxation and bureaucracy to combat the problem.

In other words, we must impoverish ourselves to support an unelected and unaccountable group of individuals whose job it is to limit all life on Earth to control a natural process in order to stop a problem that doesn't exist.

Do I have that right? The only way we can combat this supposed problem is by sterilizing ALL LIFE ON EARTH?

If I remember my high school biology correctly, all life on Earth are CARBOM-BASED. We need carbon to exist (with the possible exception of NASA's bullshit arcenic microbes). This is the biggest pile of excrement from the backside of a male bovine I have ever heard! The whole global warming/climate change issue is based on research that has been shown and admitted as rubbish, and to offset our BREATHING, we must buy "carbon credits," which basically amount to promises to plant some grass somewhere in the world to absorb the breaths I take. In other words, I can take a picture of some plants and show them as evidence that my 'carbon footprint' has been ameliorated.

But wait! What's this?
Respiration rates of plants are sensitive to temperature changes. Plants take in carbon dioxide during photosynthesis in the day, and release it during respiration at night. But they don't necessarily photosynthesize and respire at the same rates. Eventually half of the CO2 they use in photosynthesis is released back to the atmosphere by plant respiration

In other words, we must offset our carbon bootprint by planting organisms that also release carbon dioxide. Am I just stupid or what? It there something I'm missing here?

The whole global warming issue is a farce. Hackers got hold of email and documents that included communications from one of the leading 'scientists' in the field, which admitted that the data did not show global warming and in some cases even admitted falsifying data to make it fit the story. Furthermore, Al Gore told us that all scientists in the world were in complete agreement on the issue, but if I remember my schience training right, issues are never settled but are open to investigation at all times.

Of course, the whole thing has been repackaged as 'blimate change,' because global warming has been shown to be bogus. In fact, global temperatures have not risen, and have in fact fallen over the last 15 years. So, as 'climate change,' we can now outlaw seasons and deserts and even oceans, since they cause changes in seasons and climates.

Hell, you can drive across Texas and watch the climate change at least five times between Orange and El Paso. That's right, in 24 to 48 hours (depending on speed traps), you can change from coastal plains to diciduous forests to foothills, to alpine to high desert to mountains. Each one is, by scientific definition, a 'climate.' And each of those climates change on an annual cycle called 'seasons.'

One of the prophets of 'climate change' is a man who owns half of dozen mansions, several private aircraft, a fleet of private cars, and flies around the world, using piles of kilowatt hours of electricity to flap his jaw releasing pounds of carbon dioxide to tell us that we are the problem. "Mr. Internet" should be reforesting North America in order to offset his activities to tell us that life is the problem.

By that measure, BP should be reforecting the entire Earth to offset just one of the environmental assaults it has carused.

In fact, the whole issue is related to corporate efforts to patent DNA. 'They' want to tax and control not only the building blocks of life, but the very products of life itself. 'They' can therefore charge you to live, eat, reproduce, and deficate.

There is only one solution to the whole problem: remove legal codes that make corporations legal 'persons' and make all members of a corporation personally liable for any and all crimes committed by the organization. Simple. You'd see the world change overnight. That one single act would defang every evil on the Earth in one fell swoop.

The cause of all the problems in the world today come down to one simple concept: the corporate veil. This is a legal concept that says that the individuals who make up a corporation are not personally responsible for the actions of the corporation as a whole. Yet, who makes the decisions that control the actions of corporations? This one concept protects the CEOs and CFOs from personal responsibility for the damages caused by the organizations they control.

Don't you wish you had that personal protection from the results of your actions?

The corporate veil is further enhanced by the legal concept that corporations are legal 'persons.' Under western law, 'persons' are legal entities, not living, breathing human beings. 'Persons' have no conscience and therefore must be regulated in order to enforce 'ethical' behavior. Remember that ethics and morals are not the same. Morals are tautologies that exist across time and space. Ethics can change according to trends and fads. Morals have esoteric and philosophical implications, while ethics can change on a whim.

That's why things like carbon credits, genetic modification and abortion can meet the strictest ethical scrutiny and still be immoral. Ethics are situational and morals are not. Corporations can be completely ethical and moral travesties at the same time, and not be contradictory.

Ethics are subject to rule of the majority, morals are not. That is the basis of our natual rights. It can be ethical to disarm individuals, but it is immoral. It is ethical to license an individual who is operating a personal travel machine, but it is immoral to restrict the right to travel. It is ethical to institute a 'Fairness Doctrine,' but it is immoral to limit the free exchange of ideas. Taxes can be ethical, but are never moral. The list goes on.

Destroy the corporate veil and you destroy the ability of organizations to behave ethically while ignoring moral considerations. When individuals are personally liable for their actions, and unable to hide behind legal constructs, they will default to the strictest interpretation of their actions so as to avoid direct liability.

The very legal foundation of our laws is, in fact, the cause of our greatest woes. Recall the 'butterfly principle,' where a single small movement in one part of a dynamic system causes huge effects in another part. The corporate veil is that one small movement. By destroying that, we are able to dramatically change the outcomes in other parts of the system. If the heads of Merck, BP, ExxonMobil, McDonald's, and other mega-multi-national corporations were personally libale for the outcomes of their actions and decisions, do you think we would see major changes in the way the world works? If the boards of JPMorgan/Chase or GoldmanSachs or Lehamnn Bros. were personally responsible in a court of law for the damage they do, do you think we'd have the economic mess we have today?

It all boils down to being precise in our definitions of ethics and morals. As anyone knows who has planned and executed a major project, it's the smallest detail overlooked that will bring down the greatest of plans. We need to correct the small detail now, and that detail is the 'corporate veil.'

As the old saying goes:
For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

13.12.10

BurP: Now What?



Leonard Horowitz and Sherry Kane Step In Some Truth

In case you're not up to date on the latest conspiracy slang, LIHOP means Let It Happen On Purpose, and MIHOP means Made It Happen On Purpose.


To review: the evil BP was drilling for oil in the Gulf of Mexico (GOM) in about 10,000 feet of water in a block named Macando. They were leasing one of the most advanced deepwater rigs in the world from TransOean, and there were a number of sub-contractors on the rig to handle various aspects of operations, such as the Dynamic Positioning system, the drilling, mudding, casing, and so on. Such operations are at the bleeding edge of technology. The pressures and tensions involved in working in 2 miles of water depth are astounding. The weight of the drill string required incredibly powerful machines to grip and hold the pipe. The water pressures require the use of remote operated vehicles (ROVs) to keep a visual on the well-head, as well as manipulate various geer, since divers cannot go that deep. Huge thrusters are used to keep the rig stationed over the well, since anchors are impractical in water that deep.

There are many other considerations, but you get the idea that the people who operate out there are not dummies. They are highly trained and skilled technicians who are fully aware that if they make a mistake, it is most likely catastrophic.

The top man on the rig is the Company Man. There are two of them working in 12-hour shifts, overseeing all operations and approving every step of the process. The top guy on the Deepwater Horizon was one of the best inthe business, and he was pulled off the rig a couple of days before the disaster, during a critical phase of casing the well, or pumping cement down the hole and up the outside of the steel tube inserted into the well, to keep the hole from collapsing.

The process was under the control of a VERY well-known and respected contractor. They are in charge of the mix for the concrete and calculating the number of spacers that are inserted, and the flow rate, and a number of other variables involved. These are carefully calculated and nothing is left to chance. The contractor specified using over 100 spacers for the casing, because of the pressures involved and the geology of the well. Amazingly, the BP company man who had replaced the #1, who was pulled off to get some useless training landside, overrode the contractor and reduced the number of spacers to around 20.

Now I don't know about you, but when I hire experts to do something, I tend to listen to them.

The contractor was so alarmed by this action that they pulled their people off the rig the morning of the explosion with an unscheduled helicopter pick-up. Hours later, the well blew out, the rig sank and the rest is history...or is it?

You see, the damage is not yet finished and the well itself may still be spewing. We don't really know. Here's why...

During the capping operations to try to stop the well from dumping millions of gallons of oil into the GOM, a hurricane blew in. Following policies long established, all top-side operations stopped when the storm reached a certain distance, and crews and vessels were pulled back to port when the storm reached another 'line in the sand.'

Until that point, an ROV had been parked on the sea floor streaming video of the well head to the world via the internet. If you hunt around, you'll find pre-storm video feeds. Look carefully. Notice all the data on the screen. Find the latitude and longitude numbers and punch them into your GPS. Now, find video after the storm, when BP announced they had miraculously capped the well. Now note the lat/lons and punch those into your GPS. What do you notice?

Hmmmmmmmm...

Looks to me like they are different wells. Looked that way to Matt Simmons, too. Now you may recall that Simmons is, oops I mean was, one of the foremost commentators on the oil patch and was followed religiously by investors in the sector. Now he noticed a slight problem with the lat/lons on-screen. He did a little homework and found that the new coordinates matched a previous well, known as "Macando A", that BP had capped previously because it had become unstable and threatened to blow out.

Now you may not have heard Simmon's warnings. They were squelched by the media just days before he was 'heart-attacked' and 'drowned.'

Maybe you haven't noticed that the Company Man who was responsible for the spacer decision has 'taken the fifth' at the Gulf Hearings, conducted by the Crimin...I mean the Feral Gummint.

Skip ahead a bit.

The GOM is responsible for a lot of weather in the norther hemisphere. Ocean currents come up from the south and swirl around in the GOM for a while, where they get nice and warm. They then proceed up the east coast of North America and slide across the Atlantic, where they slam into the west coast of Ireland. This process, known as the Gulf Stream, releases enough heat to moderate the climate in Europe, which is why it rarely snows in Ireland and England, and places like Holland, France and Germany enjoy less-than-deadly winters, despite being a hair's breadth from the Arctic Circle.

Now, let's play a thought game. Suppose you were to squelch the release of heat from the Gulf Stream, or even modify it, with, oh I don't know, let's say OIL. That tiny bit of warming, enough to raise temps a degree or two, vanishes and what happens? Massive snow storms. Record low temperatures. Hundreds if not thousands die from the cold. Records that are centuries old fall.

Oh, and let's not forget that the GOM also provides enough warming in North America that it keeps deadly winters from striking there, as well. So, it that heat is trapped by, oh I don't know, let's say OIL, then what happens? How about blizzards, record lows, hundreds of deaths. Even Cancun, which is an island off the coast of the Yucatan Peninsula at the southern most boundary of the GOM might experience record low temps during, oh I don't know, the Global Warming Conference, let's say.

If that were the case, and I'm not saying it could happen, then that would make BP directly and indirectly responsible for thousands of deaths on two continents, as well as global weather modification, destruction of incredibly sensitive habitats, and so on.

And all that would happen because the top Company Man was pulled off a rig days before a major blow-out caused by his replacement who ordered a highly respected contractor to reduce the number of spacers they had carefully calculated and which they claimed to have capped even though a respected analyst had noticed that the lat/lons were wrong shortly before he died an untimely death.

It's a darned good thing this is all just hypothetical. Otherwise I'd be tempted to say that this was a MIHOP terrorist event on a scale that makes 9/11, 7/7 and Mumbai pale by comparason. And then I'd have to look over my shoulder all the time to make sure I didn't get 'heart-attacked.'

It could never happen, right?

Just in case you're wondering how some goombah living in Indonesia could know all this, well...in my past llfe I worked for 10 years in offshore construction as a marketing and business development specialist. I know a lot of people who know things about this mess.

Nuff said.