Here Thar Be Monsters!

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Both Sides Agin The Middle

I spend a lot of time apologizing for Merica, even though I'm not Merican (I'm Texan).

Honestly, the world sees Merica as a bunch warlords out to conquer the world with bombs and McDonald's. The bombs may not work, but McD's has a fighting chance to destroy Life As We Know It (LAWKI).

To be fair, Mericans are completely bamboozled by Madison Ave. and modern marketing techniques. Since mass media is not a required subject in college, the unwashed masses have no idea what beast they unleash in their very homes every time they flip on the teevee. They don't consume media, so much as get consumed by it. The All Seeing Eye invades their domains and subverts their reasoning in ways they can't even imagine.

Politics is just one commodity that is stuffed down the collective throat of Mericans. How many times has someone said to you, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results?" How many times have you nodded and smiled knowingly, as if you agree with the statement? How many times have you voted for a republican or a democrat? Are you not, by definition, insane?

Imagine, if you will, that Merica is the Titanic. She's going down by the bow (republican). Someone yells, "Hey, everyone go to the back of the boat to balance it out!" So, you all run to the stern only to notice the ship going down the other way. And so this theater of the absurd continues, with everyone running fore or aft, trying to balance the ship out, while all the time the ship continues to sink. No one seems to be able to come up with any other plan but to run back and forth.

Last time, it was democrats who were sent to save us from Bush with pockets full of Hope and Change. We got neither in abundance. Before that, it was the republicans who were to save us from Clinton and return decorum (i.e.-keep the peccadilloes hidden). Look how well that turned out. Before that, it was Reagan, and before that Carter, and before that just goes on and on for decades.

Nothing ever changes. The ship continues to sink and eventually, it will snap in half, just like the Titanic, before it becomes an historical curiosity and hit film, with DiCapprio's grandson reprising the role of whatever the character's name was.

Whenever the subject of third parties comes up, the most heard response is, "But they can't win. I want to be on the side of a winner." Well, guess what folks? You lose. It doesn't matter who wins the titles, everyone loses because no one will get in the lifeboats.

I distinctly told everyone I knew to avoid Bush like the plague. He's evil, I said. He's braindead, I said. But no, everyone wanted to be on the winning side, and besides, he had to be better than Clinton, right? Your honor, I wish to present Exhibit A: History. Don't vote for Obama, I said. We know next to nothing about him and the marketing is just too slick and too Madison Ave. Oh no, had to be on the winning side, didn't you? And he HAD to be better than Bush, right? Your honor, I wish to present Exhibit B: History.

Do you see a pattern here? If people had memories longer than their pinkie fingers, this might be a different world. Heck, if they just installed a firewall that catches 85% of the BS that comes out of the All Seeing Eye, they might be able to reason just slightly better than now. I mean, look how this works...the global economy is tanking, there are wars and disasters raging everywhere, Obama is driving us straight into a train wreck, BP et al. are sliming the landscape, and there are cosmic cataclysms coming that would make your hair turn white overnight. What makes news? What, of all these horrors steals the headlines? Some Bible-thumping idiot in Florida who wants to burn some books.

I hate to say it, but it bears repeating. Mericans are INSANE.

The funniest part is he never burned them. His marketing was done, his flock swelled. He got global headlines. Didn't even need to whip out his Zippo.


The whole freaking world is insane, really. Everyone snapped the BS, hook, line and sinker. I mean, it just seems so obvious to me. Why can't others see it? It's like a giant pep rally back in high school. Get everyone all whipped into a lather and then point to some manufactured enemy, then while everyone is busy jumping up and down over there, the crooks are emptying the safe and getting off scot clean. Is it just because I spent my first career making propaganda that I can see it? Or is it because I refuse tp pop doggie-downers? Maybe all those years of pot and shrooms actually protected my mind from being overrun by mediots (media idiots...if you use it you owe me).

It's so simple. It's a 3-step program, so it's even easier than AA. Unplug the teevee, stop doing what you're told and vote for a third party. That's it. So simple. Not a shot fired and yet the Earth will shake from the reverberations.

Think it will happen?

Pass the Xanax, dude. I almost woke up.

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