Here Thar Be Monsters!

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26.1.11

The State Of The States

P. T. Barnum famlusly said,
"There's a sucker born every minute."

Listening to Obama put on our rose colored glasses, it sounds as if he thinks there are 300 million suckers currently living in North Anerica.

To which I reply,
You can fool all of the people most of the time, but you can't fool some of the people all of the time.

Not sure what that has to do with anything, but I said it, at any rate.

First, there was the voodoo economics parts, like lowering corporate taxes without raising the deficit. Yeah right...tell me another! I mean, any corporation over a certain size has so many offshore accounts and shell corporations that they never earn a profit, as far as the tax calcs go. Heck, if you jigger and jive enough, you can show a loss while making billions in profits and handing out bonus checks like they're going out of style. Just look at the banksters in New York.

And what about the housing market, which according to CaseShiller is taking anouther huge, stinking dump right on the American door-step? What about the pernicious inflation showing up in luxuries like, oh, FOOD? What about oil pushing $100 and heading non-stop to $150 or even $200 this year? Five-dollar gas is a recovery, all right, but not for us little folk on the steet. Sure makes me want to be CEO of ExxonMobil right about now.

Another knee-slapper in the dopamine-induced dream world of Washington was the goal of 80%-ish of American households getting green energy by the year 2150, or something like that. Shoulda thought about that way back when Nixon was running around slapping price caps and national speed limits all over creation. Know what I mean? Heck, on Obama's timeline, shifting it to Nixon time-frame, means we'd all be sucking up zero-point energy by now.

And what about that national high-speed rail system? Ya think we coulda done that instead of throwing away trillions on bailing out the jerk-wad a$$-holes who put us in this mess in the first place? I mean, if we took all that TArP money, and instead of giving it to Goldman Sachs, who just paid billions in bonuses to their robber barons, we gave it to AmTrack? In the past two years, instead of watching a slow-motion implosion, we might already have the first link of high-speed rail inagurated.

Heck, just putting in a line from El Paso to Houston would at least move the drug lords around faster. It would also make a handy line on the map for the newly annexed northern territories of Mexico. You know...kind of a line in the sand type thing. Wouldn't even have to buy more land. Just run it down the middle of I-10, instead of paying for all those concrete barriers that will keep us fro U-turning when the military check-points crank up later this year. Give the runners something to dodge, as well.

What a bunch of bogus horse-$hit.

This whole dog-and-pony show (to really appreciate that analogy one must have been to Nuevo Laredo's Boys' Toy on a Saturday night around pay day) was brought to us by a man who has yet to prove he is an American citizen, much less a natural-born citizen, as the Constitution requires. His best hope was the newly elected governor of the captured kingdom of Hawai'i, who swore up and down that he was going to put an end to all this 'birther' crap and give us the goods. He started out with, "Hang on, we're looking." That became, "Yup, here it is." Which morphed into, "I know it's here somewhere." And has finally settled on, "Nope. Ain't got one."

In other words, the jaw-flapper up there on the podium contributing to global warming ain't even legit. That pretty much means that anything he has done since stealing the Big Chair is illegal and has no color of law. Good news for all you anti-Obamacare folks. Didn't have to repeal it. It was a done deal when he signed it.

Oh, and while he was talking, Arizona, that last bastion of sanity, give or take an assassinatino or two, was working up a law to prevent anyone from getting on the 2012 presidential ballot without forking over the birth certificate. LOL!

And Obama talked like he really made a difference. All honey and no suckle, that one.

I really miss Reagan sometimes. There was a guy who could shove the Big One in, twist it around, and make you thankful for the experience. The only thing Obama makes you thankful for is the end of the speech.

Pre-speech, word was the Supremes were ditching to bong a little Constitution and catch the show on CNN. Over here on the Far Side, we haven't heard if they went through with it. After all, the Chief bonger himself was complicite in swearing Obama in during a private session back-stage after Barky 'botched' the oath of office (of course, he couldn't really swear the other, being a foreigner and all).

And so the charade waddles onward dragging IV tubes and iron lungs with it. The former Republic looks a little rough around the gills there. I mean, the national debt is equal to the annual GDP, the gress-full-of-cons is working up the paperwork to let states go bankrupt and the country is STILL prosecuting two wars of naked aggression against innocent nations, while secretly expanding (can you say Cambodia?) into a third and possibly a fourth.5

The kids are alright, the song says.

Hell, ole Hu popped by the White House to measure the Oval Office for a re-do and see if the kitchen was up to snuff. He even checked to see if little BammyBaby was studying her Mandarin so she'd be ready for the final take-over.

Yup, ain't nothing wrong with the old Union that a few tax cuts for the rich, some useless hot-air for the starving, and some platitudes for the immobile won't fix. If anyone survives to 2035, you'll be able to laugh about it while using 80% green energy travelling at high speed by rail from New Beijing to Hu Jintao City.

Won't that be fun kids?

Meanwhile, we got our very first ever crop circle down in Indonesia over the weekend.

Some things are MUCH more important than listening to fairy tales.

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