Here Thar Be Monsters!

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Re-Branding Terror

Have you noticed it?

We went to war in Iraq and Afghanistan to fight 'al Qaeda.'  Now, al Qaeda is our friend.  Yup, they're helping out in Libya, trying to get rid of Qaddafi, who if I remember correctly, was the mastermind of the Lockerbie mess.

Doesn't that make al Qaeda and Qaddafi best friends?

And what about bin Laden?  He was the Man of the Moment 10 years ago.  We blew up three countries (Pakistan too) trying to find him.  But, he just kept making tapes and changing his appearance.  Last time I looked, there's been about six or seven bin Ladens.  It's kind of like James Bond.  Just plug in a new one when the old one dies.

Maybe bin Laden is hiding in Libya?  He's shacked up with Qaddafi now and they're taking over the world, Pinky!  But wait!  Bin Laden was in charge of al Qaeda, right?  He was the Ace of Spades, if I remember all those stupid card monikers and color alerts.  Hell, the Number Three guy (who I guess was the Queen of Spades) in now the new Number One, and he had dinner at the Pentagon a couple of weeks after 9/11.  Really.

Maybe all this bullshit is why Judge Judy and what...a half dozen reporters now?...all start babbling on camera at some point.  They just can't keep all the cognitive dissonance at bay.  It's kind of like that scene from "Bruce Almighty," when Jim Carrey puts the hex on the anchor dude, and he starts blathering like an idiot.  Not that it's much different from normal, everyday news casting.

So, let's see if I can get this straight.  Oceania is our enemy.  Oceania has always been our enemy.  Or was it Eurasia?  I can't remember now.  I need a quick trip to the MiniTruth to get my head rebooted.

Think about it.  Al Qaeda (The Source, in case your Arabic is rusty) was our mortal enemy for a decade, and we bombed three countries into the Stone Age to get rid of them.  Then Qaddafi, who was re-branded after the Reagan Years to be mostly benign, is now re-branded again into the Boogie Man du Jour for putting down some protests, just like Obama does in front of the White House, or everyone does at G20 meetings.  So, USA, Inc. invades his country completely without provocation (under international and US law, but who pays attention to law any more), ostensibly on the side of the rebels (though really it's on the side of oil mega-corps).  Then, al Qaeda joins in on the side of the rebels, as well.  And NO ONE noticed??!!

Where are the blaring headlines, a la W. R. Hearst?
Our Enemy Is Now Our Friend!
Maybe I missed some important memo.  Understandable, of course.  I'm 12,000 miles away from the office and stone tablets ain't cheap to mail.  But come on!  Just back in January, we were drone-bombing western Pakistan to root out al Qaeda.  Did they make a payment to someone?  Did they agree to help get the oil for Daddy Warbux?  Or have I just been in a coma for ten years and missed the whole re-branding campaign?  Hell, the US is even GIVING al Qaeda guns and bullets now!

Isn't that how al Qaeda started?  The CIA armed them using the Iran Contra drug money so they would trot over and kick butt on Iran, because the US didn't like who they put in after the CIA got rid of the CIA's first implant (the shah).  Then they got blamed for 9/11, so we crashed their party.  Now, they're working for US again.

It really feels like I'm Winston Smith, banging away on my diary for some future human beings who will never exist, because the Thought Police are coming soon and Richard Burton will pop in to do a number on my brain  so that, I too, will Love Big Brother.

The next time you are watching the nightly propaganda machine and the anchor starts uttering pure gibberish, like Judge Judy and the gang, just remember...their Room 101 sessions haven't quite kicked in yet.  Give them a little time and some Victory Gin and they'll come around.

You almost need a playbook to keep up with who's shafting who these days.

We;re at war with Eastasia.  We've always been at war with Eastasia.  And choco rations have increased this month due to production increases.  Double plus good!

It's enough to make me want to find a camera and start babbling.

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