Here Thar Be Monsters!

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Texian Independence Day!

One hundred and seventy seven years ago today, a group of men gathered at Washington-on-the-Brazos, Texas, and produced the Texas Declaration of Independence.  This group of Mexican citizens, living in the state of Coahuilla y Tejas, had grown tired of the authoritarian abuses of Mexico City, and the systematic rape of the wealth and productivity of the Texian people.

They declared themselves independent and set off a particularly brutal campaign by General de Santa Ana, who slaughtered peaceful farmers and burned towns to the dirt.  He killed thousands of people, with the worst having been at the Alamo in what is now San Antonio, and a small town called Goliad in Southeast Texas.

After a rather nasty sweep across East Texas, Santa Ana pitched camp on the banks of Buffalo Bayou, on a tongue of land at a bend in the river.  One thousand five hundred Mexican troops bivouaced there and tried to wash the Texian blood off their hands and clothes.  An additional 5,000 troops were scattered across the region.

Meanwhile, as legend has it, a beautiful young woman of mixed heritage, known to history only as the Yellow Rose, volunteered to go into the camp and keep Santa Ana distracted.  At the same time, General Sam Houston's small army massed only a thousand yards away, with his 900 troops.

Deciding on a surprise attack, Houston chose siesta time in mid-afternoon, when the Mexican army would be napping.  In fact, they were so relaxed that they forgot to post scouts, and Santa Ana was otherwise engaged with the Yellow Rose.

The 900 Texians came blazing into the camp while the Mexicans were still trying to put on their pants.  The battle raged for 18 minutes, before Santa Ana fled with a handful of soldiers.  The 900 Texians killed more than 600 Mexican troops, and captured over 700 more, while only loosing 9 Texians.  It was April 21, 1836.  It is still the most decisive and shortest battle in western history.

Santa Ana was later captured trying to skedaddle back to Mexico, and in a famous scene memorialized in the Texas capitol, he signed surrender papers  and was sent back to Mexico City to sue for recognition of Texas' independence.

Ultimately, the Texians formed a nation that stretched from the Rio Grande to southern Wyoming, taking in parts of modern day New Mexico, Colorado, Oklahoma, and Kansas.  Those latter parts were sold the US for what is worth $1 trillion in silver today, in order to pay off the war debt and jump-start the ailing economy.  The US, of course, never paid.

Instead, US president Polk and Texian president Houston made some backroom deals to 'annex' Texas as a state.  This is in spite of both constitutions not granting powers of annexation, and overwhelming public sentiment against such a move.  Houston's name has since been besmirched as a traitor to the nation he helped to found.

The US wanted a buffer against Mexican invasion, since they were stealing land from Mexico right and left.  They didn't trust the Texas nation to side with them in this effort, so Polk made it a campaign promise to steal Texas and use it to shield their worthless hides.

However, the Texian people were not happy about it, and 18 years later voted overwhelmingly to secede from the US and become independent once again.  The last battles of the US War of Yankee Aggression were fought in Texas, as the Yankee bastards tore through the country, much like Santa Ana, killing and burning everything in sight.

The US army eventually came to the capitol in Austin and lined the Congress up on the lawn in front of a firing squad, threatening to shoot every one of them if they didn't pass a law declaring Texas a state again.  The cowardly Congress did it.

A sham election followed in which only people who swore allegiance to the US were allowed to vote.  Needless to say, that vote was a fraud that has been perpetuated to this day.

Modern Texians have won court cases granting Texas 'captive nation of war' status, and granting the Texian people a judgement in the amount of $1 trillion in silver.  Both have been soundly ignored by the tyrannical US government.  Efforts continue, however, to free Texas from the occupying forces and free her to once again take her place among free nations of the world.

Today, Texas is the size of Germany, with an economy that would rank it #11 among the world's largest.  The population has exploded from several hundred thousand to nearly 30 million.  Some of the largest high-tech companies in the world are in Texas, and it has the only hydrogen plant in the world, and the US' only weapons-grade plutonium plant.

The Texas capitol is taller and bigger than the US capitol, and is made of native pink granite.  By law, it is the tallest building allowed in Austin.  The floor of the capitol still bears the seal of the Republic of Texas, and the portraits in the Grand Gallery begin with the Texas presidents.

When I was a kid, today was still a holiday.  It was celebrated more vigorously than July 4th, with the Houston Fat Stock Show and Rodeo as the central event.  Texas is known throughout the world as the global center for cowboys and petroleum.

I'm proud to say that my family has been instrumental in Texas history.  The first European medical doctor in Texas was my great-great grandfather, Gideon Linscom, whose studies of Kickapoo medicine and work with the Apache and Comanche indians earned my family the crossed arrows of brotherhood.

My great uncle was one of the first prosecutors to be admitted to Texas Supreme Court practice.  My father served in the Legislature for 12 years, was very nearly governor, and was a key figure bringing down the Johnson Machine and the current dominance of the Republican party in Texas.  Rick Perry owes him a debt of gratitude.

Finally, my great-uncle, William Davis Durham, is listed among the 900 on the wall at San Jacinto as a hero of Texian independence.  I am a seventh-generation Texian, with roots that are deep in the Heart of Texas.

Happy Independence Day to my beloved Republic.  Here's hoping that she will one day stand free again from the claws of tyranny, and take her rightful place among the great nations of the world.

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