Here Thar Be Monsters!

From the other side of the argument to the other side of the planet, read in over 149 countries and 17 languages. We bring you news and opinion with an IndoTex® flavor. Be sure to check out Radio Far Side. Send thoughts and comments to luap.jkt at gmail, and tell all your friends. Sampai jumpa, y'all.

1.9.13

Apocollapse Now

Here we are, barely three months post-meteoric disaster, nine months post-Mayan demise, and fourteen years post-computer melt-down, and humanity seems just as hell-bent to destroy itself as ever.  I mean, my God!, Tebow released and Justin Beiber attacked?!  What is this world coming to?  Abandon hope all ye who enter here.

The whole Syria thing appears to be a major PR disaster for the Hidden Hand.  The UK parliament found some balls after more than 200 years and told 10 Downing to stuff their guns back in their pants.  This led the Great Peacemaker (note that was the name of a famous pistol in the Old West and a missile system, too) has had to back down a bit and turn to - gasp! - Congress for the OK to drone the hell out of another brown country.  The French are demanding a vote on the subject (no surprise there).  And the Germans are destroying surveillance cameras and giving Snowden awards.  There's some sensible folks - but then they have a lot of experience with dictators.

What worries me is that this whole apocollapse theater is a ruse to some greater end.  It's not like the Hidden Hand to give a flying flip about what the masses demand, so I smell a rat when these sorts of things happen.  Could be a horrible attack on the EU/US/UK is in the offing and it will be blamed on the anti-war crowd, which will neuter that faction and rally the masses around the gun barrel.

Maybe Putin called Bammy and said, "You vill back down or I vill take you on glorious hunting trip vit my old friend Dick Cheney, Comrade."

Heck, maybe they just figured that war on 15 fronts was not feasible, even with robotic armies and the BRICS nations getting antsy.  Surely it had nothing to do with folks figuring out that those Facebook photos of chemical weapon victims were a sham and that social media does not constitute a credible information source.  Perhaps human have evolved beyond William Randolph Hearst's immortal quote, "Give me the pictures and I'll provide the war," later echoed by Charles Foster Kane.  Yellow journalism never dies, just evolves.

In any event, the Saudi puppets really bungled this assignment and will likely face regime change now.

Whatever the reason, we can all breathe a little easier for the moment.  The US is contained for the time being and will have to suffice with electrocuting, gassing and raiding its own citizens to death.

In the meantime, the bioweapon that only attacks Semitic people, called MERS, continues to prove that Israelis are not Semites, and so that whole argument can be dispensed with now.  If I'm wrong, then how come the MERS virus only affects people from the Arabian peninsula?  Why is it that after the Hajj, the virus only spread to other Arabian countries, and didn't follow folks home to other countries?  You be the judge.

Where to now?  Humanity seems fixated on destroying itself.  No matter how many alpcollapses we survive, we generate more in their wake.  Perhaps we should round up all the nihilists, place them in a remote corner of Greenland and nuke them.  That way, they get their holocaust and the rest of us can get about our business without someone trying to end the world all the damn time.

Maybe the resistance against leveling Syria represents the first nascent step towards a more healthy lifestyle and outlook on the part of humans.  Maybe we're finally starting to realize that it's better to build a bright, shiny future than to constantly hope for the worst - if not actively work towards it.  Maybe humanity is maturing just a little and emerging from the teen-angst death obsession phase of growing up.  Maybe there is hope after all that the nihilists are losing their sway over the masses and folks are starting to behave like Burt Reynolds at the end of The End.  "I wanna livvvve!"  Maybe...

Naw, too much to ask for.