Here Thar Be Monsters!

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Unknown And Unsung

If you only consume Western media, you'd hardly know that Jakarta had a terrorist attack yesterday.  Yes, unless you regularly check RT, al-Jazeera, Xinhua, or other global media outlets, the fact that seven people died and dozens were injured in an IS-like attack using bombs and handguns in one of the busiest and most tourist-infested parts of town would have slipped completely by you.

The Guardian had ongoing updtes, but no Fox, no Drudge, no NYT, not even Rense bothered to notice.  Seems that unless the attack is in Paris, LA or Koeln, it just doesn't really matter.

That may be a good thing.  Perhaps if ISIS and their jihadiots realize that attacks in Indonesia just don't get the media attention they are looking for, they will leave us the hell alone.

The story goes that a couple of guys wearing bombs walked into the Starbucks in Sarinah, one of the oldest and most well-known commercial districts in the city.  They thankfully blew themselves up and gunmen waited outside to pick off customers running out the door.  Meanwhile, a couple of jihadiots attacked the traffic police post across the street with something the police said looked like grenades.  This led to a chase and gun battle that went on for several hours and held the city's denizens in rapt attention.  Streets were shut down, causing a massive traffic jam that only someone who lives in Jakarta could appreciate.  This may have been a tactical move, since a get-away on Jakarta streets is virtually impossible under normal circumstances.

In the end, five and the seven dead were the jihadiots, while the other two were a Canadian and an Indonesian national.

In a macabre sort of way, this is all rather amusing, since the jihadiots were so inept they managed to kill themselves in a 2.3-to-1 ratio.  I mean, detonating two bombs in an enclosed space and firing into a crowd of panicked caffeine addicts seems like it would do a lot more damage.  But no, in the aftermath were primarily greasy spots where jihadiots had stood.

Now granted, Indonesians don't have the Texian's advantage of having shot guns since they were old enough to hold them, but you'd think a couple of bombs would do a bit more than they did (though thankfully not).  Perhaps the long trench coats they were wearing to hide the devices were so heavy as to dampen most of the blast, which is what I imagine just to make the absurdity even funnier.

What we have learned, though, is that people wearing trench coats in a country where it is eternal summer are probably up to no good, and you should quickly walk away.

In any event, if this is the best that ISIS can muster around here, then we remain far more afraid of Laurel and Hardy or the Three Stooges, than of the local jihadiots.  We can say, though, that ISIS has shot itself in the foot in more ways than one, since this sort of thing is likely to be a big turn-off to folks around here.  Even if I were radicalized and ready to fight, I sure wouldn't hook up with these yokels.

Don't mean to belittle the tragic loss of two innocent lives, but I do most certainly mean to laugh my ass off at a bunch of self-important jihadiots who think they are going to take over the world like this.

Sorry boys, I am not only not terrorized, I am laughing in your general direction.