Here Thar Be Monsters!

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7.10.16

Looney Toon Friday

Today's soundtrack is provided by Celtic Punks Flogging Molly, singing "Worst Day Since Yesterday."

The dear reader may be forgiven for thinking we take things a bit seriously around here.  In fact, we don't, and should the feeling creep up on us, we immediately stock the bar and drink heavily until it passes.  It's a part of our Irish-Texan gene pool that being serious lasts only as long as the walk to the pub.

Frankly, the world is so screwed up that it has long since entered the realm of Theatre of the Absurd.  Most folks can no longer see the forest through the trees, and so panic because they think they are lost.  The remarkable thing about forests, though, is that if you walk long enough in any direction, you eventually come to the edge.  Nothing lasts forever.

Take, for instance, the story about what we affectionately call Petrified Woodstock.  Yes, that 3-day...er, 6 day concert event has brought together all the surviving counter-culture geezers for one last wheezer.  Turns out the scalpers have taken a bath on the tickets, though.  They forgot that all those radicals are now on fixed incomes and more worried about access to toilets than backstage passes.  If that's not funny, well...

How about those "headless" Ubers in Singapore and Pittsburg?  Yes, that vaunted technology that was to help usher in the Golden Age of Robots apparently ignore street signs and crash into stuff a lot.  All of this despite having a human in the driver's seat "for emergencies."  Hell, take away the Geritol and glasses, and those rock geezers could achieve the same results without the hype.

Still not laughing hard enough?

How about those vaccines?  Rappaport tells us the CDC police will start arresting the unvaccinated to "protect public health."  But wait a minute...aren't vaccines supposed to make folks immune?  So what are they afraid of?  Cue the Scooby Doo catch phrases.

More?

OK,get this: The US Department of Justice and the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the top law enforcement agencies in the country, have destroyed evidence, colluded with potential witnesses, tampered with witnesses, and willfully failed to enforce the law.  Why is this funny?  Because the majority of Americans STILL think they live in a free country where law is supreme, the coming election will be a fair poll, where seldom is heard a discouraging word and the skies are not cloudy all day.  This is either a case of the most amazing self-delusion or the most incredible mind-control ever.  Poor folks need to get out more often.

Har har har!  Ooh, it hurts, stop!  But wait!

"President" Obama of the US just signed over control of the ICANN (Internet Corporation of Assigned Names and Numbers), which is a private non-profit company, to the UN, where it will be under the direct control of IPCC (International Panel on Climate Change) and the upcoming TPP and TTIP treaties that give corporations control of international law.  So now, those vested interests can control all information on weather, business, markets, criticism and dissent, and the ability to link to other information as references.  Fox guarding the henhouse!

Har Ho Ho!  This is just too rich!  But WAIT!  There's more!

Hillary Clinton, whose husband was impeached for lying about extra-marital affairs and has been accused of multiple rapes and sexual predation, and whose social circle includes convicted child molesters, and who successfully defended a child rapist, calls Trump a misogynist!  That's like Medusa calling Perseus "hard-headed."

Har, har, snorkle, coff, sputter.  We can barely see through the tears in our eyes!

Yes, how can anyone be serious when the Three Stooges run the world?  Or should we say "woild?"  We've got bruises from slapping ourselves on the forehead, and just when you think it can't possibly get much sillier, the next day's headlines are right over the top.  We're expecting any moment some public official will step up and say that at least Hurricane Matthew will get rid of the Zika mosquitoes in Miami.  Just wait...

That's right, folks!  Who needs Hollywood comedies when all you need to do is open the morning paper, or flow the bits, or whatever you do for news.

If laughter is the best medicine, then we should all be pert near the pink of health by now!

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