Top 10 Movies That Time Forgot

Every now and then, we just gotta lighten things up around here.  So on occasion, we whip out one of our ever-popular movie lists.  We try to think of great flicks that meet all the qualifications for exceptional entertainment, and in the case of today's list, have all but been forgotten over the years. In some cases, they were not made in America, which means a lot of folks just never watched them.  Though listed 10 to 1, they really don't appear in any particular ranking.  Just a handy means to keep things organized, and create a little suspense..

So, without further ado, get out the credit card, warm up Netflix, and get ready for some top-notch entertainment.
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10) Bagdad Cafe (1987)- This little German gem has Percy Adlon in the God Chair and Chief Hack, too.  It features a really fun performance by Jack Palance, along with co-stars Marianne Saegebrecht and CCH Pounder.  A quintessential German housewife is abandoned in the middle of nowhere California with a suitcase full of men's clothes.  She ends up at the title cafe, where she proceeds to clean things to within an inch of perfection, as well as change the lives of everyone around her.  The plot device Saegebrucht uses is her ability to perform magic, which is the key to her acceptance by the locals.  We recommend this one just for Jack's performance, but we think you'll be thoroughly entertained by the whole story.  If you look sharp, you may notice several homages to famous films and artists.

9) RoboCop (1987)- About the same time as the last film came out, this masterpiece by Paul Verhoeven showed up.  Updating Mary Shelley's 'Frankenstein' to the cyborg age, while placing tongue firmly in cheek, Verhoeven's direction masterfully walks the line between morality tale and farce.  If you could tone down the Zucker brothers enough to put a little serious social commentary in between the sight-gags, you would have this film.  We loved it so much, we even worked on the sequel, which got the style right, but missed the subtle jabs at modern society.

8) Silent Running (1972)- We love Bruce Dern, and this is his tour de force in what amounts to a one-man show.  Douglas Trumbull mans the God Chair as he perfects his special effects wizardry, so evident in '2001: A Space Odyssey.'  In fact, '2001' was supposed to go to Saturn, not Jupiter, but Trumbull couldn't perfect the rings to the point Kubrick was satisfied.  Trumbull succeeds with magnificent results in this flick.  The film itself is a ecological morality play, with Dern watching over a spaceship full of plants that have all disappeared on Earth.  Due to a budget crunch, Dern and his crew are ordered to destroy the terrariums and come home.  Dern doesn't cotton with that idea, and goes rogue in a ship called, wait for it, Valley Forge.  Dern's in his prime as he teeters on the edge of insanity, and turns in a much more realistic man-alone than Tom Hanks did in 'Cast Away'.  And we think Hughey, Dewey and Louie are the grand-bots of R2-D2.

7) The Milagro Beanfield War (1988)- Robert Redford takes a spin in the God Seat for this screen version of John Nichols' excellent novel and screenplay.  If you've ever lived in New Mexico, this movie will definitely make you smile.  It captures the other-worldly feel of life in the State That No One Knew.  It's told through the eyes of a kid who's been assigned to New Mexico by Peace Corp.  Apparently, someone didn't know that the state was part of America.  The kid gets caught up in a passive-aggressive war between a dirt farmer and corporate America.  The farmer performs a revolutionary act by watering his beanfield.  Events swirl out of hand and things come to the verge of all-out shootin' wars.  A top-notch cast turns in some really nice performances and Redford does a great job of caturing the magical southwest backdrop.  We were sad, though, that el brazo de Onofre didn't make it into the film version.  That was one thing that made the books shine.  A fun afternoon killer.

6) The Andromeda Strain (1971)- We turn to Robert Wise and Michael Crichton to keep the New Mexico theme alive.  Crichton, of course, created 'Jurassic Park', among many other sci-fi thrillers.  And this film, despite 40 years, still holds up well, especially since the story is so good.  Sure, the teletype and computer monitors are a tad dated, but you can still imagine this happening today.  It's got a veritable who's-who of 70s B-flick actors, who all do great jobs of playing scientists playing God.  Wise does a masterful job building and maintaining suspence, as the scientists race against time to find an alien disease returned on a space probe.  Even now, it leaves us breathless at the end, with obstacle after emergency.  By the way, Trumbull did the effects for this flick, as well.  He practically single-handedly created our cultural imagine of the future.  The guy who cut Ang Lee's 'Hulk' could've learned a thing or two about split-screen here.

5) The Adventures Buckaroo Bonzai Across the Eighth Dimension (1984)-  Speaking of RoboCop...W. D. Richter, probably best known for his flick 'Big Trouble in Little China', fills the God Seat for a wild and very strange ride through higher dimensions.  Peter Weller plays the title character, who's a kind of perverse Indiana Jones, being a brain surgeon, rock star and comic book hero.  If nothing else, this movie is worth it for John Lithgow's performance as a mad Italian scientist.  His invention opens a door to the eighth dimension, through which step the Leptoids (Red and Black).  Buckaroo races against time to stop the alien invasion, seal the hole in space, capture the evil scientist, and cut a new chart-topping single, while signing copies of his comic books.  We really like the score by Bones Howe, and Yakov Smirnoff's National Security Adviser is hysterical.  Turn off your higher reasoning and just sit back, and try to keep your jaw from going slack.

4) The Man Who Knew Too Much (1934)- Alfred Hitchcock is one of the few directors to have done his own re-make.  We are partial to the original, with Leslie Banks and Peter Lorre.  A 'regular guy' is sent on a wild ride by the dying words of a murder victim that he happens upon.  This is one of our favorite Peter Lorre roles, outside of House on Haunted Hill.  In typical Hitchcock fashion, we are kept in the dark along with the main character.  Lots of good twists and turns and ranks among the top who-done-its.  Hardcore movie buffs will want to do a double feature with the Jimmy Stewart/Doris Day version.  Interesting to see how Hitch re-imagined and re-packaged the story for an American audience.

3) The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1988)- If you haven't figured it out by our other lists, we'll come right out and admit it...we love Terry Gilliam.  We've always been entranced by his incredibly unique visual style.  This movie is probably his defining opus, though one of his least known.  This movie has so many fine performances and such a rich visual texture, that it is hard to put labels on it.  John Neville's Baron is an absolutely flawless characterization.  He inhabits a world of endless creativity and child-like imagination.  The film has always struck us as the 'Time Bandits' he would have made, if George Harrison had given him a little more money, but the story is completely different and even more compelling.  Gilliam's animation background with Monty Python is on full display, and his penchant for warped characters and talented actors come together to create a film that children and adults can enjoy on many levels.  We've paired this with 'Wizard of Oz' for a truly twinged double feature.

2) My Fair Lady (1964)- OK, we confess a soft-spot for musicals.Never been much for Barbara or Bette, but the classics have a place in our collection, as does Bob Fosse.  Even though Rex Harrison taught Lee Marvin everything he knows about singing (see 'Paint Your Wagon'), this is one of those movies that leaves you singing show tunes for a week.  This is also the quintessential British fantasy, changing everything to suit their ideal of beauty, and screwing it all up in the process.  This is one of the best musicals for seamlessly blending the singing with the action.  George Cukor keeps the Hand of God light and airy, Lerner and Lowe turn in an excellent score, book by G. Bernard Shaw, and Jack Warner personally produced it.  This is definitely one to dust off and remind yourself how good movies used to be.

1) Duel (1971)- Steven Spielburg remakes his graduate student film with Dennis Weaver taking the lead.  We don't know about you, be we always liked Dennis Weaver, even as a hick sheriff from Tay-ohs in McCloud.  Here, he's Harvy Milquetoast running for his life from a semi-truck from Hell.  Your heart starts pumping just looking at the fear in Dennis' eyes.  This is Steve McQueen's Bullit without the bravado and testosterone.  We are not told who or why is trying to kill Weaver, as he plays cat and mouse across the southwest.  One can imagine a young Steven King watching this and getting the idea for Christine.  The suspense is well done and we can see why Spielberg went on to greater things.  If you can find his original student film, it's worth a double feature to see how money makes movies better.  It also pairs up nicely with Hitch's Psycho.

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So that's our list for this weekend.  We'll be back soon with more bitching and griping.  Until then, it's always nice to take a break from reality, dust off some oldies-but-still-on-DVDs.  Of course, there are so many more we could add to this list.  Ater 120 years of motion pictures, there's plenty out there to explore.  Heck, Orson Wells alone could fill up a weekend.

And hey!  If you don't like any of our selections, just think how much you paid for the information!  We think there's something for everyone here.  So enjoy the weekend and get a bit of rest.  The fun is yet to come.

The 100 Best Movies Of All Time

We are often asked (not really but it makes a good launching point) what are the 10 best flicks of all time. In that we have 40 years of experience as writer, producer, director, editor, designer, actor, grip, gaffer, and a few dozen other titles, we are imminently qualified to answer this question. No dissention or equivication will be allowed. Anyone not towing the part line will be summarily tossed out of the auditorium. Our word is final, and that's that.

This list is by no means exclusive of hundreds of other great flicks, but it does represent movies that we have bought over and over again, first on Betamax, then VHS, then LaserDisc, then DVD, now MP-4.
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10. Batman (1989) - Tim Burton takes the God Seat for a run at the venerable comic-book hero. He creates a world right out of Metropolis, with operatic grandeur and visual heaviness. He casts a comedic actor in a serious role and a serious actor in a comedic role, with Michael Keaton and Jack Nickleson. The sets are amazing! Buildings bolted to the ground, statues bearing enormous weight, offices with items dating from the 30s to the 80s. Somehow, even Keaton's lips look like the 'bat' symbol, when he's in costume. Visually stunning, well-acted, tight writing, and edited with just the right pacing. It starts our list for all-time greats.

9. Dark Star (1974) - Not only is this John Carpenter's first feature flick, it's also the movie that launched a 1,000 ideas. A group of weary astronauts have been wandering around the galaxy blowing up planets in a ship that looks remarkably like a tennis shoe (Douglas Adams stole those two). There is some brilliant writing by Dan O'Bannon here, who later penned the classic, 'Alien.' In fact, you can see the seed of that franchise starting to bloom in this flick, as the guys chase an alien beach ball around the ship. At one point, one of the astronauts has an existential argument with a 'smart bomb that is reminiscient of 'Dr. Strangelove' and elements of which show up in Dennis Hopper's speech in 'Speed.' The finale involves planet surfing, literally, which we saw reborn in the recent 'Star Trek' reboot. A great flick for a lazy Saturday night around the bong.

8. The Player (1992) - Tim Robbins teams with Robert Altman in the God Seat to bring us an all-too-real look inside Hollywood. There are dozens of hat-tips to other movies in here, inlcuding a brilliant retake on Orson Welles' opening scene in 'Touch of Evil.' It's a very cerebral movie, with little action or sex, but it's a great story, well-paced and beautifully shot, primo acting, and enough insider secrets being spilled to keep the ardent Hollywoodophile rewinding and taking notes for days. It also has a really nice twist on the 'happy ending' and shows how movie deals are really done. Well worth your time.

7. The Man Who Would Be King (1975) - Sean Connery and Michael Caine make the best buddy movie ever recorded. End of story. The brilliant John Huston, whose other buddy flick, 'Treasure of the Sierra Madre,' is one of the all-time greats and infinitely quotable. Here, he brings us two Brits in India in the early 1900s. They meet Rudyard Kipling (who wrote the original story), and make a deal that they will take over a country and become kings, and Rudyard will witness the pact. As it turns out, they do exactly that and go one better by becoming living gods, because they are Freemasons. Watch the movie, you'll see why. They inherit a vast fortune left by Alexander the Great and make a plan to get out with the loot. This movie has it all: gold, guns, girls, and one hell of a story. The cinematography is a main reason the film has such an epic feel. We can feel the exotic locations and the strangeness the characters find. We loved this movie so much, we lived it.

6. Apollo 13 (1995) - "Houston, we've got a problem." See why, and how they got out of it. We hate to admit it, but we cry every time we see the chutes at the end. Ron "Opie" Howard makes us feel like we're along on a ride in a can only big enough for three SPAM. These guys are locked in a capsule, set on top of the most powerful machine every built, and shot at a target 250,000 miles away. There's no hope of anyone coming to the rescue if anything goes wrong, and guess what? Something goes wrong. Really wrong. Almost dead kind of wrong. This movie is a literal cliff-hanger from reel 2 to the closing credits. We grew our beard and didn't bathe for three days after watching it. The launch sequence alone is worth the price of admission. And the music!

5. Dead Ringers (1988) - This is David Cronenberg at his weirdest and best. He takes the God Seat and drags Jeremy Irons through the 'ringer' to create a truly odd film. Twin gynecologists obscess over a woman with a genetically malformed uterus, and since they are identical, they can share without anyone knowing. This flick is intense and you won't want to watch it alone, because it will freak you out. You'll need to be talked down. Seriously. As psycho-thrillers go, this is top-notch. And whoever designed the 'examination instruments' should have gotten an Oscar for 'Best Drug-Induced Design Ever.' You'll see what we mean. Brilliant cinematography and Irons' acting makes this by far the best one-guy-plays-two-people-in-the-same-shot movies ever made.

4. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) - Using one castle for a dozen different locations. Using coconut shells for horses. Special guest appearance by God Himself. And the funniest damn writing, period. All that and more in Monty Python's first feature film after coming out of British TV. You can almost forgive the British for being pompous asses after watching this flick. The Pythons take the legend of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table and turn it on its ear. They make endless fun of themselves, the French, the Germans, and simply trash the Middle Ages, while they're at it. There's Trojan Rabbits, catapult cows, aerodynamic swallows, and witches galore. You'll be quoting lines for the rest of your life after watching it 200 or 300 times, like we have. And don't forget the oral sex.

3. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) - Stanley Kubrik is one of those brilliant filmmakers whose works are stuffed full of symbolism and metaphor. On top of that, this film set the standard for space flicks that holds even 43 years later. This movie is so far ahead of its time that one wonders if Kubrik didn't time travel to get weightless shots so perfect. From the monolith (which has the same aspect ratio as the film itself), to Moon mysteries (a la Hoagland, et al.), to Jupiter's Galilean moons, this movie is so damn prascient, it's spooky. But aside from content, the use of music, the dancing spaceships, the Lunar surface, it's all gorgeous and incredibly rendered. The movie has been so influential, that it has spawned names for real-life spacecraft and inspired the design of the International Space Station whizzing over your head just about now. For our generation, this WAS the future, and we're still waiting for it.

2. Eyes Wide Shut (1998) - Kubrik is the only God Seat occupant who makes the list twice, and with good reason. This movie is what got him killed. He told too many secrets. It also happens to be the best performance ever by Tom Cruise, which goes to show that a good director can take shit and make it shine. Again, Kubrik's symbolism is so deep, so rich and so, well, so... Every inch of every frame has meaning, if you know what to look for, and that will take years of study in the occult. Not only that, it's got Satanic masses, orgies, mystery, fine writing, lavish sets, and a music score that haunts long after the credits stop. It's truly an amazing film, but what do you expect from a director whose work is a Top 10 list in and of itself. To really enjoy it, watch it once for story, then watch a second time, only look at everything BUT the main action.

1. Lawrence of Arabia (1961) - Take a man who was larger than life, whose story writes itself, and whose exploits are being felt even in today's headlines out of Egypt. Put David Lean in the God Seat and Freddy Young behind the camera, spinkle liberally with England's finest acting talent,let Marice Jarre score it, and Anne Coates cut it, and you've got one of the finest flicks of all time. The magnificent desolation of the locations, as rendered by Young, lets the audience feel the heat. You'll be thirsty the whole time you're watching this one, so have plenty of water near-by. Even if you (understandably) don't care about the British or the Arabs or World War I, you can't help but love this film. It's just that damn good. This is Peter O'Toole's first feature, and he's backed up by such greats as Alec Guinness, Anthony Quayle, Claude Rains, and Oman Sharif. In fact, Sharif's entrance is probably one of the most memorable in all film history. Lean stole a page from Orson Welles' 'Citizen Kane,' by opening the film with the death of the main character. Be warned, though. After watching this flick, you might just have a little more understanding on the Middle East situation today, and what's more, you'll enjoy the experience.

Honorable Mention: Citizen Kane, Frank Ott's Sneeze, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Casablanca, and about 3,419 more.
The is hardly a definitive list. If we wrote the list of 100 greatest flicks of all time, we might be able to get all our favorites in.

We didn't even touch on such greats as Orson Welles or Terry Gilliam, nor did we even make it further back than the 60s, and there are some classics back there.

Nor were we able to bouch on the fantastic wealth of foreign films, with such greats as Ran, Das Boot, Wild Strawberries, and (our favorite) La Femme Nikita.

We were able to build you, gentle reader, a list of movies that your collection, sadly, is lacking, we're sure, since you are not the cinematophile and art house expert that we are. If you are nice to us, maybe we'll make a list of the weirdest movies ever, so we can include such greats as Liquid Sky.

Happy watching. Don't forget the popcorn and be sure to buy your copy from our Amazon store (hint-hint).

It's All Bullshit!

Don't you see it? Doesn't it register? Has everyone been OWNED?

Ever get the feeling you're Kevin McCarthy in a world full of Pod People? The whole freakin' world's gone berserk and you are the last man standing.

See...here's the thing...you can do anything you want as long as it is within the parameters laid out for you. That's right, you are free as long as you stay inside the fence. If you dare to wander outside the fence, THEY with caddle prods (Tasers) to shoo you back in. If that's not enough, then THEY have brain taps (shotguns) that both ensure you don't get out of line again, and provide fodder for the Soylent Green factory.

You and I are nothing more than meat for the well-fed. As long as you stay within your corral, you will be allowed to live. If you step outside of it, you must die. Or everyone around you must die, so that you finally cry, "Uncle," and end up loving Big Brother.

You see? It's not enough that you knuckle under...you must be broken.

The WHOLE DAMN THING is a sham, a farce, a buah si malah kala.

Remember the opening for the Outer Limits?

"There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can roll the image; make it flutter. We can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: there is nothing wrong with your television set. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to the outer limits."

To be fair, we were warned, just that most of us didn't take it seriously. Here's an example:

You feel that the public schools are a sham, but you can't afford or don't want your child indoctrinated into private schooling. So you homeschool. At first, that got you Tasered. Now, you are ALLOWED to do it, but you must choose from approved curricula and you must abide by STATE rules. Free inside the fence.

Here's another example: you don't think, after hours of eye-bleeding research, that vaccinations are good for your children. So you refuse. You can fill out the form at school that gives you exemption, but all that does is call in the Satanic Child Protective Services, because you aren't injecting your children with untested and unproven poisons.

Think vaccinations are effective? Then why do THEY quarantine kids who get mumps? Gee, didn't they get their injections? Aren't they immune? How did that first kid, with all the damn injections, get sick in the first place? And if the vaccines really work, then why is that kid quarantined, since all the other kids are supposedly immune?

How about one more example? You live in a police state, I mean country, that is waging illegal wars all over the planet under false pretenses, and that country's annual budget is about half allocated to the military. So, in good conscience, you withhold 50% of your taxes to protest the wanton slaughter of innocents in your name. Hey, that'll get you a brain tap right there.
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It's all B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T!

Don't believe any of it. That's a good start. The next step is to listen to that little voice inside that is increasingly being squished. It's telling you, "This is all wrong." And if all that is stopping you is fear of Tasers, then douse yourself in water before a confrontation.

The next big step is turn OFF the damn TV! There is nothing worth watching on it, no matter how many channels you have. Not only turn it off, but throw the damn thing out in the streets, while screaming, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!"

There is life after media, if you just take the first step. Start consuming it, before it consumes you. From what I can see, you're just Debra Harry's bitch.

Wake up world! The mediots own you. Stop it now! It's almost too late. Don't let Kevin McCarthy be right...show him there is still some humanity in the world. Start exercising your mind. Don't wait for 'authorities' to tell you what you already know. Follow that little voice inside. It is trying to tell you what is best for you. Believe it or not, THEY don't own that voice yet...but THEY are getting there.

From now on, anytime someone wants to tell you what to do, ask them to do it to their children first.

You'll get the picture.