Here Thar Be Monsters!

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Showing posts with label preparation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label preparation. Show all posts

5.10.13

The Storm Front

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Some time back, I waxed poetic about Texas northers as a metaphor for world events.

Texas northers are like nothing I've experienced anywhere else.  You can see the storms approaching for hours.  The sky bifurcates, with a part being hot, humid and sunny, and the other part being black as night with a greenish cast and ominous lightning flashing in all directions.

You can tell they are coming in a hundred different ways.  Cows in the field will all line up with their hind ends pointing in the direction of the approaching storm.  The cow flies, normally heavy on a hot Texan summer afternoon, suddenly look like shimmering blankets on the backs of the cattle.

The air gets deathly still and heavy.  It's like trying to take a deep breath in a Turkish sauna.  It is so thick and hot and laden with steam that it fills your lungs before you can take a deep draught of it.  Walking through it is like pushing yourself through cream of mushroom soup with the heavy smell of mold and mildew laced into it, and the humidity is so high that you sweat profusely just sitting on the porch.

At some point, the storm line appears on the horizon, looking like Sauron's evil spreading over Middle Earth.  The rain is so heavy, it forms a solid curtain of silver gray that the eye can not pierce.  The line of clouds itself is so straight you could draw a surveyor's bead from it: in the leading edge are low, smooth clouds that curl down in the bow shock, and behind them are towering thunderheads that seem to stretch to Heaven itself.  Lightning leaps across the heads then stabs down at the Earth, momentarily casting a strange blue light over those things which have been engulfed by the advancing drapery of doom.

Far across the endless Texas horizon, you can see the fields of grain bow down to the relentless fury.  The line is so sharp that if you could stop the storm for a moment, it would be possible to stand half in and half out of it.

That line of subdued grain comes toward you in a way that seems both slow and plodding and blindingly fast.  Because of the vast views, you can watch the storm line come across miles of sorghum and corn. Now you catch a whiff of pungent wet Earth - the smell of hot, dry soil suddenly doused with unbelievable amounts of ice water.

Occasionally, at the leading edge, a cloud will curl back on itself, and within moments a tornado has formed. All around its tip, crops are flying up in a cloud of debris, whipping around the sky in a furious parade of destruction.  Just as suddenly, the tornado dissipates and the plants float, almost lazily, back down to the ground.

One minute, the storm seems miles away - hardly a threat.  The next, the line of doom is marching across your fields towards the house.  The cows seem to freeze in place, bracing for the impact.  The hot still air kicks up into a slight breeze, then turning to a furious cold wind.  The temperature drops ten degrees in seconds.

And the rain...

A moment ago, you thought you had time to refill your glass of lemonade.  Now your only thought is to find a wall against the driving rain.  The wind carries the drops sideways, first this way, then that.  Sometimes, you see gravity itself shut down as the drops fall upward for the briefest of moments.

The sky turns the most hideous shade of yellow-green as you dash for the tin barn to escape Nature's wrath.  Inside the barn, the noise is deafening, as hail pelts the tin.  Through the doorway, you watch as pearls fall from the sky and pile up like manna.  You shiver from the sudden cold and the good dousing you got running the few short feet to shelter.

Outside, it seems as if the world is ending.  At noon, the sky is blacker than midnight.  Through the various doors and windows of the barn, the rain seems to fall a different way in every direction - from the east over there, from the west over there, and on the north windows, torrents so heavy as to block the view past the panes.  By the south door, a fan of dampness spreads out on the cement floor as the mist swirls in the opening and settles down.

Inside your gut, the feeling is overwhelming.  You are hit with a sudden burst of fear and excitement, like a case of butterflies on steroids.  You have a powerful urge to run in circles and whoop and holler, though you have no clue why.  The air itself is charged - even the chickens out back are raising a furious racket, with roosters crowing and the hens clucking like Life itself depends on it.

Then, as suddenly as it began, the rain slows to a gentle drizzle.  The wind dies to a calm fall breeze.  The animals quiet down and that feeling of boiling emotion in the pit of your stomach ebbs away.  The pearls of hail have already started to melt and the clouds slowly loosen their choke-hold on the sunlight.  Green gives way to black, which parts to blue.

When you emerge from the barn, the world seems renewed, fresh, clean.  Even the dirt seems less dirty (though one step into the red Texas mud will ruin that illusion).  The sky appears scrubbed clean and the air itself has an effervescent quality, like the molecules themselves are sparkling.

In the fields, the plants are all bowed in the same direction, as if a giant foot had trampled them.  Look closely and you see a dozen fountains of dirt as the field creatures kick residue from their homes.  The grasshoppers, silent before the storm, are now clacking like crazy in all directions.  Across the fields, a tenuous cloud of insects forms just over the tops of the plants as they stretch to the Sun to dry their wings.

Here we are...

We see the storm approaching across the fields.  We've known for a long time it was coming.  The air is just starting to stir and all the signs are of impending cataclysm.  It's time to run to the barn.  The storm is here.  The fear and panic will start to rise shortly.  The animals, whose memories are dangerously short, will give in to the fear, but we have seen this before and can calm that simmering kettle of emotions in our bellies so that we are able to marvel at the power of Nature, rather than flee the temporary maelstrom around us.

The sky is turning, the wind picking up, the lightning leaping all around.  The storm is here.  It will pass, of course, but we must go through to enjoy what's behind it.

We've seen this coming from a long way off.  We saw the line of clouds, the angry tornadoes, the wall of rain.  We've made our preparations as best we can and taken shelter in the barn.  Nothing left to do but marvel at the dangerous beauty of what we call Life.  Many will be hurt, some will die.  There is no accounting for the seeming randomness of Universe.  Sometimes the rain falls up.

All is as it should be.

18.12.10

Coming Attractions

Fletcher Stansbury explains it all for you.

Imagine this:

You wake up one morning and pick up the morning propaganda off the front lawn. The top headline blares, "Feds Declare Emergency, Fuel, Power Rationing." Can't happen? Already did, likely to your great-grandparents, grandparents or parents (depending on the ages of the reader). Somewhere in all my junk, I've got books of rationing stamps. In my own memory, I distinctly remember when you could only buy gasoline on alternating days, depending on your license tag number or flag color. If you were lucky, you owned two cars, one with odd numbers and one with even. Heck, that was just 30 years ago.

As you unfold the paper and walk back to the house, you can't imagine what could be worse news. After all, you watched the Dow Jones crater to below 2,000 in the past month, wiping out any dream you had of retiring in five years. The newspaper practically falls apart in your hands because the material it's printed on is so flimsy. Below the fold is a list of actions being announced by the federal government, to take effect immediately. There is also a box with locations of stamp-issuing authorities, including most post offices and schools.

Among the new measures: there will be mandatory national blackouts and curfews from 6pm to 6am daily, anyone caught out after curfew will be shot; you can only withdraw $100 in cash every three days; the work week has been shortened to three days and you will only be able to use approved public transportation or carpools with 8 or more people; beginning next week, you will have to use the New Dollar, which will give you $10 for every $100, after that ATMs will only allow the withdrawl of $10 every three days; every household will only be allowed to register one vehicle and receive a special tag, and then that tag will only allow you to buy 10 gallons of gasoline per week; you will only be allowed to buy a certain amount of groceries per family per week, anyone exceeding the limit will be arrested and charged with terrorism; National Guard troops will be stationed at checkpoints across all major cities and along highways; patrols will begin going door to door within the week to collect registered guns...

The sleep is slowly leaving your brain as you try to figure out if this is real or if you are still in bed asleep. Suddenly, all the TVs in the house come on at the same time, with a tone and the logo of DHS and a note to stand by for important information. You look at the converter box display. It shows a double asterix, which you've never seen before. You try to change the channel, then turn off the TV, but nothing happens. You unplug it and the converter box begins emitting an ear-piercing screetch. You unplug the box, but the noise continues. You plug it all back in, but now there is a voice saying, "Do not attempt to turn off your set."

The picture switches to an image of the Presidential Seal haning on a podium just as the Prez walks into frame.

"Good morning. The country has been deeply affected by the current economic crisis. As of last night, I have signed an order declaring the bankruptcy of the United States. The country is now in receivership under the Federal Reserve, which has issued austerity measures to be administered by the Department of Homeland Security and FEMA. Troops are being stationed at key locations all around the country to prevent unrest. I ask that all Americans remain calm and stay in your houses until further notice. If you are travelling right now, you will come to a check point soon, where you will be given further instructions."

You notice that Janet Napolitano steps up to the podium, but by now you are in a daze and don't really hear what she has to say. You suddenly notice your kids holding on to your legs and staring at the TV. You son asks, "What's wrong, Daddy?" The only real answer you can think of is, "I voted for the wrong peole, Son."

Outside, you can already hear screaming and gunshots. You don't bother to look, because it doesn't matter if it is gangs or soldiers. It's all pretty much the same now.

Your wife, who had been watching from the doorway quietly goes the to kitchen and checks the pantry and fridge. Almost empty. She was planning to go shopping this afternoon.

Your eyes lowered to your kids again, who were still riveted to the TV. You thought about your crazy old Dad, who had bought some land out in the middle of nowehere after Mom died. You remembered laughing at him when he dug a huge hole in the middle of the land, put a water well inside of that, and then buried two freight containers there before building a pretty nice little house on top of the whole thing. You thought about all those fruit trees he had planted and the piles of canned goods, water filters and solar panels he had bought. All you could think of was that your inheritance was pretty much shot to hell now.

You pictured Dad out there right now. He didn't own a TV and he had this whacky internet system that made him invisible on the net. At the time, you had seriously considered having him committed. At the moment, all you could think about was the security and the food he had there.

Dad had been twisting off on government conspiracies and economic theories for decades. It all just rolled off of you like water off a duck. This was America, after all, the richest, most powerful nation on Earth. You wished you had listened a little, just now.

You mind was scrambling now, trying to think of some way to get out to his place. In the fog, you heard Big Sis talking about shutting down the interstates and cordoning off the cities. You mind was full of a weird mix of regret, anger and panic, but you could only stand there with the paper in your hand, looking down at your children.

---

It could never happen, right?

The Jews thought it would never happen. The Russians thought it would never happen. The Germans and Yugoslavians thought it could never happen. The Chinese, Vietnamese and Cambodians thought it could never happen. The American Indians thought it would never happen. The Japanese Americans thought it could never happen. Your grandparents thought it could never happen.

Get ready, it's about to happen to you.

There is an amount of debt floating around the US right now, accumulating in the US Treasury, that involves numbers that are beyond comprehension. To even begin to ponder it makes your mind recoil in horror, and you immediately slip into denial. Some estimates put it as high as $1.2 QUADRILLION. At some point in the next six to twelve months, it will become unsustainable, as Americans will not be able to pay even the interest on it.

The United States has lived in a dream world for the past 30 years. It has occupied a niche that is unique in all of world history. Never before has there been a nation with a global reserve currency. Oh, you can argue that Rome did, but their money was gold, silver and copper coins. Ours is what? Cotton paper with red and blue threads, and some nifty engraving and special inks? It's only backing has been "the full faith and credit" of the government.

Well, guess what? The credit is running out and folks are losing faith.

Your best bet? Start stocking up like there's no tomorrow. The priority is food and water. Then start looking around for alternative currencies. Something like the Liberty Dollar. Join or start barter clubs and co-ops. Put any savings you have left in silver and/or get it out of the US while it's still legal. I recommend Indonesia, but you do your own homework.

Sell all non-essential things in your house and convert them to something useful, like those mentioned above. Get out of the cities. Get off the grid.

Everyone always thinks it can never happen here, but I live in a country where it happened 12 years ago and most folks still have vivid memories of what happened. All I can tell you, is you don't want to be in the middle of it, especially in America where things are likely to be far worse, since folks there have never had to live through that kind of event. How many people do you know, just off the top of your head, who think that roughing it is going without a hair drier?

Run, don't walk, to the nearest exit. Think about all the stuff you know now that was just kooky conspiracy theories just 10 years ago. Black helicopters, false flag terror attacks, gold at over $1,000 per ounce. How about FEMA camps and border wars with Mexico? How about Russia and China dumping the dollar

Just kooky theories, right?

I'm just that weird dad in the woods, after all.

Get ready, here comes another theory. And this one WILL hurt.