Be Vewy Vewy Qwiet

Well, it's that special time of year again, when Muslims the world over go into hibernation during the daylight hours, known as Ramadan.

If you don't live in a predominantly Muslim country (yet), you may not be aware of what it means to observe the Holy Month.  You also may not be aware that the observance is based on the Lunar Year, which is about two weeks shorter than a Solar Year, so over the years, Ramadan slowly precesses up the calendar, coming slightly earlier than the year before.  For instance, when I first moved to Indonesia in 2008, to escape the Shrub Administration in the US, Ramadan was in October.  This year it began in mid-April.  

 And here Catholics thought trying to figure out when Easter comes in any given year was complicated.  At least you know it always happens on a Sunday.

So anyway, during the 29 days of Ramadan, the observant practitioner refrains from eating or drinking from sun up to sun down.  In fact, the strict observers will refrain from even swallowing their own saliva, which in some places offers an interesting sight of hundreds of folks spitting all day long.

In my experience, many folks just sleep all day, so as to avoid temptation.  After about 7am, neighborhoods become deathly silent until about 5pm, when the womenfolk commence to rattling pots and pans in anticipation of sun down.

Ramadan culminates in the Eid al-Fitr, or Idul Fitri in Indonesian, which is the Feast of Breaking Fast.  To give the Western reader a sense of what this is like, imagine Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and St. Patrick's Day all rolled into one.

In Indonesia, Idul Fitri is followed by Lebaran, which is officially a three-day holiday, but in practice is anywhere from two weeks to a month.  This holiday involves mudik (exodus), in which every living being abandons the city to pulang kampung, or return to the home town.  Mudik is followed by lavish feating and one of the most amazing redistributions of wealth known to Humankind.

Leading up to Lebaran, people exchange gift baskets of sumbako, or essential foods, usually rice, fruit syrups for flavoring water, canned goods, and homemade snacks in the form of bite-sized cookies and other sweets.

It is also a time for Tunjangan Hari Raya Keagamaan, or more commonly THR.  This literally means, "Religious Holiday Subsidy".  Employers are required by law to give all employees a 13th month of salary, while out in everyday life, it means everyone and their brother expects a tip for everything and the police become extra diligent in enforcing traffic laws.  Meanwhile, back at the kampung, folks return home with wads of cash (borrowed of course) to hand out to family members, displaying their financial success in the previous year for all to see.

One curious feature of this ostentatious display of imaginary wealth is that new car sales spike just before Lebaran, and then slightly used car sales spike roughly two to four weeks later.

The practical side of all this is that those of us who stay in the cities find ourselves in literal ghost towns for a couple of weeks after 90% of the population scattered to the winds.

Except for this year - and this is the fun part.

This year, Jakarta's illustrious and all-knowing gubbener declared that Lebaran, and specifically mudik, are cancelled in the battle to contain the spread of the Fauci Flu Damn-Panic.  Beginning May 1st, no one will be allowed to leave the city.

In most countries, this kind of officious edict might be taken seriously, but this is Indonesia, where finding creative ways of circumventing the law is a national pastime.  Instead of waiting for the annual THR payment a week before Lebaran, folks began packing up and moving out almost as soon as Ramadan began.

Around my neighborhood, shops and restaurants have shut down.  Food stalls that appear on the streets at sun down have vanished and one can actually stroll down the sidewalk unmolested.  Traffic has dwindled to early Damn-Panic levels.  The floating oil slick euphemistically called "air" in these parts, has cleared.  Offices have emptied out and ride-hailing services have added 25% to 50% to their normal tariffs in hopes of encouraging drivers to roll out of bed.

Given that Idul Fitri begins on May 12th, and under normal circumstances this would all occur around the 9th or 10th, this is really quite humorous, and it highlights not only the illusory self-importance the politicians put on themselves, but also the fact that the people aren't buying the Damn-Panic.

This shows, in all its absurdity, that numbnuts sitting in their pre-embargo ivory towers have exactly zero real power to change human nature.  It shows that folks can't be fooled forever, when they see empty hospital wards and the gubbermint handing out free Fauci Flu vaccines to dogs and cats to inflate the distribution numbers, and especially when they don't see people dropping dead in the streets.

While the early shut-down and exodus has caused some inconveniences, I still thoroughly enjoy seeing the complete repudiation of "authority" and I appreciate the Indonesian impulse to simply ignore the rules when it doesn't suit their purposes.

Most of all, I enjoy watching the delusional "leaders" being mocked in a passive-agressive kind of way.  It's almost as if folks vote for class clowns, in order to isolate them from the sane folks, where we can keep an eye on them and they have to write down all their plans so we can carefully avoid them.

Who said anarchy can't be fun?

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