Fed Up

Eric "Playtex" Holder

You know, I'm pretty much FED up with the endless stream of loose bowel droppings coming out of Washington, D.C.  Especially when that traitorous sack of horse-pucky that some politely call Eric Holder goes around saying the US gummint can kill anyone it wants, including US citizens overseas. whenever it damn well feels like it. 

This from, for the sake of brevity, a man who gladly sold guns to Mexican drug gangs so they could kill US citizens at home and justify taking guns away from lawful, real Americans.

Holder:  I've got something you can holder.  Come 'n' get it.

The US feral gummint is completely out of hand.  It rules not by laws but by might, and we all know that might does NOT make right.  Just look at the photo of that pansy-pated lump of dingo dung.  The only reason he talks so big is because he has the Western military-industrial-pharma coalition behind him.  If you met him alone in a dark alley, he'd start crying before you even threatened him.

Whatever happened to the days of Teddy Roosevelt?  The man couldn't read the Constitution either, but at least he had been in a couple of fist fights and won.  Holder, a.k.a sorry sack of horse-pucky, looks like he's never dirtied himself other than when in the presence of real men.

And his boss?  Ha!  That runt with the silky voice?  The guy whose only achievements came from padding a resume and falsifying legal documents?  The Man O'Peace who has ordered so many people to die killing other people because he's too chicken shit to take a real stand on something...anything?  The blithering bag of bones who couldn't think he way INTO a paper bag, much less OUT of one?  Need I say more?

You know, it's easy for whimpy jerks to talk tough when they have nukes in hardened bunkers, but it's entirely different when they actually have to put up their own blood and pain.  In fact, if the UN really wanted to do something useful for the first time in it's history, it would pass a law that all world leaders who want to attack other world leaders have to meet at Madison Square Garden and duke it out on global TeeVee.

Vlad "the Impaler" Putin

Yeah, what a great idea!  No more wars, just no-holds-barred nut cutting between world leaders.  That would shut them up in a big damn hurry.  It would also cause countries like the US to elect people like Jesse Ventura president.

Look at Vlad Putin.  Don't care what you think about his politics, the man gets out and does manly stuff.  Not like G.D. Bush, who shoots his buddies in the face.  I mean, like real manly stuff.  And he even gets large groups of women to bare their breasts to protest in his favor!  Now there's a real man!

American women, if they muster any emotions for Bammy at all, want to mother him, not breed with him.

But back to my idea...

Suppose Nutty-Yahoo and Ahmadenijad had to go at it for 10 rounds.  The winner got all of the other guy's nukes.  Now we're talkin' global politics!  Suppose Bammy had to go mano-a-mano with an Iraqi/Afghan to be named later.  Think of the ad revenues, the eyeballs glued to TeeVee sets!

Why, I'd pay good money to see G.D. Shrub and Saddam Hussein duke it out.  Que es mas macho?  How about a double team of Merkel and Sarko vs. Papdemos and Monti.  All's fair.  Merkel can strip to distract if she thinks that would help.

Special double feature: Benedict XVI vs. Muhammad Ahmad Hussein.  Winner takes all.  That's the opening act for Lee Myung-Bak vs. Kim Jong-whoever, brought to you live from the DMZ without commercial interuption.  Sponsored by LG electronics and Hyundai!

Yes, this the way to do things.  Man to man, Merkel excepted.  Let the jerks who would send our kids off to die get out there and trade punches in front of a global audience.  The winner is crowned with larel leaves, and the loser faces a long re-election battle.

We could dispense with all the hardware and tough talkin' panty-waists like Holder.  We could get rid of dried up Marxists like Hillary.  We could put all the trillions of dollars in war spending to far better use.  And we would all get really good entertainment in the process.  The media is happy.  We're happy.  And we dont' have to listen to boob-sucking bucketheads like Holder telling us how he has the legal right go around popping anyone he damn well feels like.

Barak "Mammy's Bammy" Obama

In fact, I issue this challenge.  Holder, get your sorry, flabby carcass over here and take me on.  I'll set up the venue and pre-sell all the adverts.  I'm a holder of a US passport and I live overseas.  C'mon toilet-breath.  I dare you.  I'll bet you're the dark part of the slime that pops out of the back end of a hen.  And guess what?  It will all be nice and legal like, too!

Yeah, I didn't think so.