Here Thar Be Monsters!

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The Ballad Of Jihadi Ahmed

(to the tune of The Ballad of Jed Clampett, with apologies to Flatt and Scruggs)

Come 'n' listen to my story
'bout a man named Ahmed,
A poor goat herder
barely kept his ninnies fed,
And then one day he was diggin' a latrine
'N' up from the ground popped the CI Agency.

Slime that is, black ops, Bush clan...

Well the next thing ya know
Ol' Ahmed's an ISIS prop,
A CIA jihadi just a'waitin' to go pop,
They said that Sweden is a'where
He oughtta to be,
So he sold off all his goats
And became a refugee.

Unescorted minor that is, political pawn, media star...

Ol' Ahmed got down in beautiful Stockholm,
They handed him the keys
To a recent empty home,
They said he could have his pick of any girl,
So he hiked up his robe and went huntin' for some squirrel.

Young 'uns that is, swimming pools, alleyways...

Well, now it's time to say goodbye
To Ahmed and his kind,
They handed him a vest
With a trigger that is blind,
Soon he'll be in heaven with his virgin hareem
And the Bush operation will be toastin' victory.

Family that is, psi ops, regime change...

Y'all look out, now y'hear?

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