Pax Romanae

Ah, once again we celebrate that time-honored pagan celebration of Easter.  It began with Maundy Thursday, led into Good Friday, followed by Holy Saturday, and culminates in Easter Sunday.  If you are a Christian, then you have most likely been read (few actually actively read...) the Gospel accounts:

On Thursday, at sundown, Jesus and the Apostles gathered for the Passover meal.  Later, some of them repair to the garden for a walk and some fresh air.  Jesus gets arrested, taken before the Sanhedrin, gets condemned to death, but wait!, let's let the Romans do it so we don't get blamed for killing a major political figure.  So they haul Jesus to Pontius Pilat, who in turn interviews Jesus but doesn't get very far.  So he sends our hero half way across Palestine, to Herod, who plays around with Jesus a bit and then sends him half-way across Palestine again, to let old PP have another go.  Old PP takes our hero out back and has him whipped a little, then puts him up in front of the crowd, who naturally chooses the thieving, murdering liar Barabbas over our hero (a perfect example of democracy in action).  Thus at a loss on what to do with Jesus, PP orders him taken up the hill and crucified at the mob's request.  Finally, by noon on Friday, Jesus is hung out to dry.

That has got to be one of the fastest examples of the Wheels of Justice ever recorded!  In less than 12 hours, Jesus has a couple of trials, is hauled back and forth across Palestine, sees pretty much the entire ruling class of the region, and dies by noon the next day.  Pardon me if I have a problem with this story.  In fact, even the Gospels seem to have a bit of a problem.  Matthew, Luke and Mark pack all the action into one night, but good, old John says it a little different, giving us two days.  Hmmm...and that's the Gospel Truth.  Go read it.

So, we have this little time-line problem going.  But, that's not all...

You see, the story of God-Becomes-Man-Dies-And-Resurrects was ancient even in Jesus' time.  In fact, the story is one of the oldest in Humanity's collection of stories.  By some accounts, this story is well over 10,000 years old.

One example is the Egyptian story of Osiris.  Seems Ossy got into a battle and was hacked into 14 pieces.  His sister/wife Isis collected the pieces, all except for the phallus which disappeared, and reassembled them inside a tree trunk.  The missing phallus was replaced with a magical device that allowed Isis to impregnate herself before she sealed up the tree trunk and threw it in the Nile.  Three days later, Osiris was resurrected in his new trans-human form (with the magical phallus, we presume).

Now the whole bit with tree trunks and three days has a familiar ring to it, que no?  Not to mention the rather thinly veiled renditions of Mary and Jesus in the image of Isis and Horus.

To all this, we add the story of the Roman emperor Constantine.  He was watching the Roman Empire sliding inexorably into the history books, led in part by infighting among dozens of competing religions.  In an effort to quell the bickering and save the empire, he ordered a bunch of religious types into a room in Turkey and told them to come up with something.  Which they did.  It is called the Universal Roman Church, or Roman Catholic.

The council of Nicea blended pieces of several religions into a single amalgam that made everyone happy.  The monotheists had One God.  The polytheists had a Trinity.  The goddess worshipers were given Mary and the Osiris worshipers were given Jesus.  The Sun worshipers were given Sunday and those who just needed a pantheon and ancestor worship were given saints.

None of it really resembled Christianity, which was a whole different beast.  The Christians believed that their guy was the new Fisher King, come to establish the Kingdom of the New Age.  Their religio-political movement was an outcrop on the Essenes, who in turn had blended certain aspects of Judaism and Buddhism.  Their system postulated apotheosis, in which every man could become god through certain practices.

The whole idea of apotheosis is really central to this whole thing.  Certainly, the Buddhists believe in it, and various sects throughout Western history believe in it.  There are hints of it throughout the Old and New Testaments, even as Jesus said 'all this I do, you can do, and more.'  In the US, George Washington is assumed to has undergone apotheosis, and that moment is enshrined on the ceiling of the US capitol dome.  Some scholars argue that Jesus also went through this process, as he began by calling himself the Son of Man, but later changed to the Son of God.  Go read it.  I'm not making this up.

At any rate, Constantine (remember him?) had hit on a solution to the ills of the Roman Empire.  Now, the emperor was truly the center of the official religion, and that religion had something for everyone.  No matter what your parental belief system was, you could find the core beliefs all tied up in a neat little box in this Universal Church.

Did it work?  Well, the Catholic Church is the richest, most powerful organization on Earth...right now.  It is the single largest land owner, and the leaders of the world still come to the Emperor (now called Pope) to get their blessing and approval.  Roman Law is the core of most legal systems on Earth.  Pretty much all corporations are given their legal status as 'persons' through a complex and very well hidden link to the Vatican.  In fact, the Vatican is the only sovereign religious headquarters on Earth.  And it has survived and perpetuated the Roman Empire throughout the world for 2,000 years.

Don't know about you, but that sounds pretty darned successful to me.  In fact, few seem to realize it, but the Godfather series of books and films were really a documentary.  I avoided watching any of the films until last year.  Despite their fame and adulation, I had no desire to see them.  I knew what was in them.  I had seen it first-hand.  The scene where Michael gets absolution from the future pope...well, there you go.

The banking ills of the world are laid at the feet of the Vatican.  Its bank is the root of all evil.  All roads lead to Rome.  That's why no matter what horrible things the Church leaders do, the institution is untouchable.  No major event on Earth occurs without the blessing and approval of the Vatican.

Oh, and who killed JFK?  The Vatican, of course.  JFK signed an Executive Order creating a new, independent US currency based on silver.  Look it up.  He died not long after that.  How dare a Catholic stand up to the secular power of the Holy Roman Empire?  From that point forward, we were given the Pax Americana.  Now why do you think they'd use a 2,000 year old dead language for that term, and run everything out of a city in Virginia that is up to its gills in Graeco-Roman architecture?

And trust me, when the American Empire, and the Pax Americana falls into dust, the Romans will still be there.

Those who don't study history are doomed to repeat it.

All In Da Family

The large wooden doors swing open to reveal a massive oak and leather desk with rich curtained French doors behind them. Behind the desk is one of those leather office chairs you only find in board rooms and CEO offices. Its back is to us.

We enter and stop at the head of the desk. The chair slowly creaks around to reveal none other than Marlon Brando in character as Don Corleone, godfather of a successful mob family. He speaks to us:

Ah, Michael! Ahm glad you come to visit me like I ask you. You want a drink? I got some nice wine from Vinny when he come back from da old country.

We take the wine and sit down across from the desk as the padrino leans back in his chair and talks wistfully:

You know, Michael, back in da old dais, we knowd who was da good guys and who was the bad guys. The Fam-lease played one side a da game, and the gummint played da udder side.

It was simple den. We ran da rackets and paid da gumshoes to leave us alone. Ya miss a payment, dey show up and knock some heads. Nowadays, ya can't tell who's on what side, anymore. Da only diff-rence is dey got badges and a little respect. It's all PR Michael.

If we was smart back den, we woulda bought up some newspapers. We never tot like dat, you see. We never tink you just manage what people tink and you can run wild.

Deez gummint boys got us licked. Day use da same tactics like we do, making people pay for protection and roughin' dem up if dey don't keep to rules we set out. I mean, dees TSA goons are more stupit dan Guido der when he's got a bottle of product, ya knows?

But here's da ting, Michael. Ah been lookin' into dis for a while now. Da key is da gumshoes made a deal wid doze Jew boys down in da City. We missed da Big Pik-cha here. Dey made a deal wid da JPMorgan and Goldman fam-lease, and now dey got da whole ting wrapped up, ya know wha I mean>?

Look at all doze Jew boys down der in Washington. Seems like every time I turn around, dey put anudder Morgan boy or Goldman boy in some office wid a lotta power, and dey are runnin' da show.

Da udder ting dey got on us, us good press. All da time, deez news boys are bowin' and scrapin' to da gummint and Jew boys. No maddah what dey do, ya can't find a bad story on 'em. All peaches 'n' cream, I tell ya.

We nod appreciatively. Il Padrino has a way of bringing complex concepts down to more managable terms.

"But Godfather, what can we do now," we ask. "They've got 50 years on us. It's going to be impossible to compete with that."

Don't worry, Michael. Dey got 50 years? We got a thousant! Ah got ya an appointment with Papa in Roma. Da Vatican Bank's gonna help us put ta-gedder a package dat will take back some of our territory, see? Id ain't gonna be easy, Michael. Deez bastuds got a good jump on da game already. But, we got a lot more punch dan dey do, capiche? When ya meet wid Papa, he's gonna lay out da plan. All weez gotta do is stick to it. I want you to run da show, here. We don't need da udder fam-lease tryin' to make a play for our bag.

Artie and Phillie, dey're too stupit to play dis big, an' da udder fam-lease don't got da stroke we do in Roma. If ya play it smart, Michael, you can built up an empire like nobuddy's ever seen.

Ahm gonna buy a newspaper chain while yer in Roma. We're gonna play by der rules, but we're gonna do it betta. Yer gonna be da padrino someday, so done screw dis up. You got da bisnis degree and ya know how da game is playt. Da best part, if ya get da badge, ya can wax 'em and no buddy ever gonna know, cause you got da authority and ya got da press to bury da bodies for ya.

You ponder the implications for a moment, then ask, "Padrino, why all of the sudden do you want to get into government? It's not our traditional market."

Simple, Michael. Youse just gotta read dat great Wop from Venucci, Macchiavelli. All gummint is violence. If somebuddy steps outta line, ya whack 'em. Ya make 'em pay protection. Ya can even make 'em pay for air and waddah. It's brilliant! On toppa dat, you're legitimate. Da people all come to you for protection, cuz dey been trained from bert to follow what-evah you say. Da best part, is you got all da guns! If somebuddy don't follow what you tell 'em, ya whack 'em. Hoos gonna tell ya 'no?'

Ya, doze Jew boys from across town, dey figgerd it out bafore we did, but dat don't mean we can't learn from 'em. We been playin' dis game all wrong. Ya see, gummint and da fam-lease is all da same. Only ting is, day got schools and da press.

When ya meet with Papa, he's gonna spell it all out. Come da next election, weez gonna change the rules a liddle. It's all perception, Michael.

If you're a mafia on the da outside, everybuddy's out ta get ya. But, if are the mafia on da INSIDE, den ya got no competition. It's all how ya look at it.

"It's brilliant, padrino. But, how do we make sure we get our people inside?"

The Godfather chuckles.

We steal der game, Michael. Dey got everybuddy using doze electronic votin' machines. Whoever runs da machines, runs da world. I already got our boys inside on dat end. You know Paulie's boy, Anthony? He got a degree in computers and went to work for one of dem big software companies that has a contract wid da gummint to make da machines. Don't worry. We got dat part in da bag already.

We sit back in our chair and sip the wine pensively. It seemed like a fool-proof plan. With the backing of Rome, it was no fail. We picture ourselves in the Oval Office with a cigar and an intern, only much better looking than 'that woman.'

Yup, the Don had outdone himself. The Jewish bankers were already losing the PR game and the market was ripe for a take-over. The pockets in Rome were the deepest in the world. And with control of the schools and the media, no one would have the brain to put up a fight, much less win it.

As we sit there dreaming, suddenly Mel Brooks pops into our thoughts. He delivers the great line from "Robin Hood: Men In Tights"- It's good ta be da king!

How true...how true.