Home On The Range

If you've never had the job of taking care of a herd of cows, then you probably are unaware of the work involved to run a large group of animals that you intend to sell or kill at some point,

I spent some part of my youth as an actual cowboy.  We had about 400 head of cattle, more or less depending on the time of year.  Even during the school year, there was work to do before and after school, moving the herd from field to field to prevent over-grazing, rounding them up for shots and parasite dusting, throwing hay and feed in the winter months, and hauling cows to the auction on Saturday mornings in Schulenberg or Gonzales.

Folks don't realize how much work is involved here.  Four hundred animals is a lot of time and effort, and most of it is rote chores that even the animals get used to.  They know when it's time to go to another field, or get their shots, or line up for slaughter, and they willingly assemble for the events.

This morning, I saw two articles that made me think back on the cowboy days.  The first said that 25% of fopolledlks  thought robots would make better politicians, the other article said the average American dies $62,000 in debt.  I don't know about you, but I didn't even have to go further than the headlines to start seeing the correlations to running cattle.

The first thing is that we no longer have surveys, we have polls.  Have you noticed that?  It may seem like a subtle difference, but bear with me.  A survey - to me anyway - implies asking people what their opinion is.  Lord knows all free people have opinions.  A poll, however, is (in cowboy talk) what you do when you cut the horns off of cows so they can't hurt you.  Getting head-butted by a cow is painful enough, but when it includes hard spiky things that puncture your flesh and rip up organs, well that's quite a different story.

Basically, polling is disarming a cow.  There are any number of ways to do it - fire, saw, chemicals, breeding - but the end result is a much less dangerous cow.

The next thing I though about was how great it would have been to have robots do all the dirty work.  They don't get tired, feel overworked, need meals, and they always do the job right because their decision-making processes are precisely controlled.  All that would be needed is to train the cows to follow robots instead of cowboys - and a couple of good dogs - and life would be so much more relaxing on the farm - at least for the herd owners.

The next thing I though about is the fact that each cow represents a pretty hefty investment.  Even breeding them, which you'd think gives you free cows, requires selecting which cows and bulls to breed to give you the best results, and that requires separating the herd into breeding pens.  Plenty of work to do.

Then there's the hay, which you have to grow, bail and collect in a barn, or buy and store in a barn.  And you'll want to supplement the grass and hay with molasses-covered cottonseed hull, or Purina pellets for extra nutrition and to fatten up the cows before auction to make sure you get the most money out of them.

In any event, those cows owe you quite a bit of money by the the time you sell them, so you wait for the best market prices and try to keep the cows as fat as possible so they paid off in the end.

Yep, reading those two articles reminded me a lot of being a cowboy.  They also reminded me a lot of modern humans.  From a certain point of view, we are all cattle.  We need to be polled to make us less dangerous.  We need to be rounded up from time to time to get our shots and be deloused.  We need to be moved from field to field to make sure we don't overgraze.  We need to be kept nice and fat so we fetch a good price at auction.

If you can train folks to follow robots, it sure frees up the Masters quite a bit.  They don't have to worry about the cowboys going rogue or taking the wrong day off.  In fact, you can automate the entire process of herding the masses so you can sit back on the porch and drink mint juleps and talk about the weather.

And if Americans are dying thousands of dollars in debt, then WHOOPIE!  That means you've completely harvested all the value out of them.  Nothing to pass on to the next generation to give them a head-start.  That little bit of debt doesn't matter, since you created the money out of nothing and you get to reclaim anything of value from their estate through taxes and foreclosures.

Yessiree, we are all cows, folks.  We are herded and maintained just like cows.  We are disarmed and castrated, just like cows.  We are fed and jabbed just like cows.  We are bought and sold, just like cows.  And just like cows, our entire lives are nothing more than profit centers for the Ranch Owners.

Hell, we even get branded with IDs and numbers, just like cows.

This System is ubiquitous.  It is everywhere. You cannot be a little bit part of the herd without being all in.

So tell me now there's nothing wrong with the System.  Tell me now that there are people and ways to fix the System.  Tell me there's no conspiracies or elites.  Sorry, but if you've ever taken care of a herd of cattle, then you know exactly what our world is like: 200-some-odd ranches with 7 billion cows and certain rich ranchers trying to buy up the rest of the competition.

It's a fact of life and you either accept it or try to change it.  There really is no middle ground.

Cigareets And Whiskey And Wild Wild Women

As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake. - Mark Twain
For most readers, I need not list all the people in the PTB set that have said on the record that they want to wipe out a fair chunk of humanity.  There's Prince Charles and His Royal Daddy, Bill Gates, Henry Kissinger, and the Bush Gang, along with the Georgia Guide Stones.  It's hardly a secret.

They stage wars to kill off thousands of the future leaders and thinkers.  They LOVE cars that burn all that delicious petroleum.  They fill up our drinking water with God knows how many nasty chemicals.  They promote drug addiction, as long as a doctor scribbles on a piece of paper.  They pump us to the hilt with vile, dangerous and killer vaccines.  In fact, they promote just about everything that will kill you while making money for them.

So what's the big deal with cigarettes?  Why the decades-long war on tobacco?  Why the brainwashing and laws and draconian efforts to rid the planet of this self-promoting cash crop?

It's but a vague memory now.  I live in Indonesia where cigarette smoking is still a right, a net exporter of tobacco and one of the few places left on Earth that still allows cigarette ads in print and on TeeVee (just can't show anyone actually smoking).  But I do remember the way people thought they had every right to treat you like a social deviant if you so much as mentioned Marlboro.

So, if the PTB/W are so damned hot to kill everyone while making a profit, why are they pushing this whole anti-smoking craze?

Adolf Hitler was a rabid anti-smoker and vegetarian.  Look what that got the world.  On the flip-side, nearly every artist I know is a closet smoker.

Sure, it causes all kinds of nasty things, but Xanax makes you suicidal, and they push that crap like it's going out of style.  Sure, stale smoke is not one of the more pleasant smells, but the BPA in nearly every plastic food container in your house is a really nasty little molecule.  Sure cigarettes are dirty, what with all that ash and the filters, but BP killed the Gulf of Mexico with its oil and Fukishima is killing all the rest of the world.

One could say that they really have a heart after all.  One could say that they need to have something they can point to for credibility in the 'caring and sharing' department.  I don't buy for a Jogjakarta minute.

The other day, I was listening to one of the dozens of interviews I peruse every week.  Someone said something that piqued my interest.  She said that some evidence pointed to cigarettes protecting the pineal gland from certain chemicals like fluoride.  If you don't know, fluoride makes people docile and open to suggestion, and since the pineal gland (also called the third eye) is associated in vastly different cultures with insight, intuition and wisdom, it makes a weird sort of sense.

It did get me to thinking.  Why would such murderous, evil bastards, who love making money and majik off of killing people, want to eradicate cigarettes that hook the smoker into a lifelong money-spending habit, and which has been a major cash crop for centuries?

And while we're at it, we could say the same thing about marijuana.

It does lead me to conclude that there is something about tobacco that they don't like.  Yet many of them are fierce smokers themselves.  I can't imagine they don't want us all riddled with cancer and shot-out lungs and heart attacks.  They love that stuff.  Packs hospitals, sells drugs and gets spiteful health care legislation passed.

Let's say the pineal gland does have a sort of metaphysical function.  It is, after all, the only part of the brain that doesn't come in a pair.  Suppose it does aid and abet things like insight and higher wisdom.  We know that fluoride has a negative effect on the gland, and Lord only knows what other chemicals the bastards are pumping into us and the effects they have on the little peanut-sized lump of flesh.

In my mind, I connect things like creativity and smoking.  Certainly, being a smoker causes you to take at least a couple of breaks a day just to stare into space while you enjoy sucking plant smoke into your lungs.  They sure don't like people sitting around thinking.  That's why they keep inventing all the Asian gee-gaws to keep our monkey minds occupied.

Cigarettes have seemingly always been associated with tough, independent and rebellious spirts.  Look at James Dean, Humphrey Bogart and the Marlboro Man.  How many times have you seen the image of the rough and tumble cowpoke plopping down by the fire after a long day in the saddle and sparking up a butt?

Could there be something to this?  Could cigarettes be the bane of Them?  Do cigarettes somehow neutralize some effort on their part to neutalize us?

It's an interesting idea to noodle on.  When you think about it, it really doesn't make sense that they would zero in on cigarettes with all the far greater threats to health out there.  Hell, most of the rabid anti-smokers I know think nothing of going jogging next to a busy street at rush hour.  There they are pumping gobs of nasties into their lungs and raising their heart rate to really get all the crud well circulated, while they're at it.

Certainly anyone who's read this site long enough knows that I'm rather independent and have no hesitation thinking outside the box.  I've also had a long, illustrious career in the performing arts.  And I've been a pack-a-day guy since I was about 13.

Hell, even Bammy is a heavy huffer.  If nothing else, you gotta give him credit for being creative.  He spins some good ones.  Got him the presidency, after all.

So it's just one of those ponders.  You have to sit up and take notice when evil murderous bastards seem to care about people's health.  It's not in character, and when people do things out of character, there's usually an ulterior motive.  It usually belies a weakness, too.

Next time you spark up, think about it.  Are you a rugged individualist with a strong creative streak?  It just might be because of the stogie you're sucking on.

Malam Minggu

Just flew in from Singapore, and boy are my arms tired!

It's Malam Minggu (Saturday night) in the Big Durien (hey, if New York can be the Big Apple, then Jakarta is the Big Durien) and I spent the whole day in S'pore meeting with some associates. I like to think of S'pore as the model Benign Fascist State. If you stay within the boundaries, life is pretty smooth and efficient, but if you step even one centemeter over The Line, watch out!

One advantage of going out is that I can hit the Duty Free, even though Indonesia's limits are a bit draconian. I can only bring in one liter of alcohol (liquor or wine, beer doesn't count) and 200 grams of tobacco, which means one carton of smokes, 50 cigars or 200 grams of cut leaf. Of course, I couldn't buy cigs any cheaper than Indonesia, even in North Carolina, so forget that. But I did manage a few Cubanos (eat your heart out Americans) and a liter of fine Scotch Whiskey. Altogether, my imports can't exceed US$250.

Now I haven't had a good bottle of Scotch Whiskey since I got here three years ago. When I got home, the wife couldn't sleep, even though she had a rough day at the rat races. So, I fixed her a traditional Irish lullabye: a good dram of whiskey, some sugar, some milk, and a couple of rocks. She's out like a light now. Indonesians are cheap dates. Takes about one shot of high octane to knock 'em out.

I'm going straight with two diamonds. It's good sippin' stuff, so I'm nursing it along with my cigar on the front porch.

The plane was about half full, which is unusual, but it's post-New Year and not yet Imlec (Chinese New Year), so things are quiet.

The Indonesian government recently released its people. For the longest time, there was a $100 tax by sea and a $250 tax if by air for a citizen to leave the country, if they didn't have an NPWP, which is the Indo version of the Social Security number. As of January 1st, the tax was repealed. Combined with a metric ton of cheap air fares, there's about to be a bunch of Indos flooding the global tourism offices.

The wife went down to renew her passport the other day and the mob was, well, a mob. This has basically taken the reigns off the Indo middle class. After all, the tax raised the price of a trip to S'pore 200% for the average Indo, who didn't have an NPWP.

Now, you might ask why good little citizens don't have tax numbers. Well, most Indo don't have a Social Security number. Most don't earn enough to pay tax, anyway. The few who do, earn enough to pay for all the rest. Such is an oligarchy.

The tax was designed to rip off foreigners who were exporting Indo maids, which is a global pasttime, even if you don't know about it. US tax laws prevent Americans from enjoying the luxuries that most of the rest of the world takes for granted. Kasihan deh loe.

The tax was penalizing the middle class, though, who don't have NPWP either. Recent developments, over the past ten years, have created a very properous middle class here in Indonesia, and they want to go out and see so world, too.

Anyway, the wife and I are taking advantage of the cheap airfares and her new-found freedom, to plan a trip to Hong Kong in April. We want to visit Kowloon Island and Macau Island. The package deal, with hotel, is $200/person, airfare and 4/3 in a four-star hotel. Could be worse.

I can get more of less the same deal to Phuket, Bangkok, Singapore, Ho Chi Min, Kuala Lumpur, and Taipei. For Bali, it's even cheaper, as in rediculous.

For you folks playing at home, you may want to check out AirAsiago.com, and see if you can't combine a package to get a cheap Asian vacation to exotic locations.

Damn! Just dipped my cigar in whiskey and a cool breeze kicked up. The neighborhood kids are in the park with their guitars wooing their pacar.

The house cat, Jeruk/Orange, slung a litter of milk-suckers Monday night. Give of them to be exact. Three greys, named Kerakatau, Merapi and Bromo (local volcanoes), a calico names Campur (mix), and another orange that I call JJ (Jeruk Juga, or orange also).

God is in His Heaven and all is right with the world.

Or is it?

Just to the south of me, in Queensland, they are having the test by fire, only with water. Brazil is under water. A good part of the States stand to me inundated when the thaw comes. Europe too. The economy is tanking. The world is flying apart at the seams. For some of us, it's the calm before the storm. For others, the storm hath arrived. For yet even others, the storm hath passed. What remains is the question of the hour.

My colleague Clif High, at HalfPastHuman.com has posted a recent article that we Asian dwellers would do well to read.

The cigar and whiskey are working their magic. The mind is open and the tongue is loose.

And so, the words and whiskey begin to flow. Who knows what will pop out next. A word of shameless promotion: if you need a writer with award-winning skills in multiple formats, drop a line to luap.jkt@gmail.com. Whether it's articles, scripts, copy, tech manuals, or really anything written, I promise to spell check before sending along. Word-smithing ain't just a job, it's a living!

And so, with that, I bid adieu. I'm going to finish my straight-two-diamonds and a fine cigar. And I'll leave you with this thought:

Cowboys are FROM Texas, but they ain't necessarily IN Texas.

Teaser: coming soon-review of "The Cosmic War," by Joseph P. Farrell, and an interview with webbot cowboys. Jack in, tune out and let the bits byte.

And while you're planning your home garden, don't forget the medicinal herbs.