Rules For SJWs

Since we love a good cause, and violent protests against the evil overlords, we figured it was time to update Saul Alinsky's Rules for Radicals.  After all, that book was written by a white man back in the Dark Ages of the 1970s, when men and women could actually be in the same room together without written consent forms and feminism was about equal pay for equal work (assuming equal educational backgrounds, experience and on-the-job results).

Yes, being a Social Justice Warrior is not easy.  It's a socio-political mine field out there and you have to be careful where you step.  Most of all, it's about being consistent with your message and having integrity in your actions.

What follows is an essential playbook for the modern SJW.  By following these guidelines, you will always have a clear message using the most widely disseminated channels of communication and behave in a way that shows the world you have thoroughly thought out your message and live by it in both letter and spirit.

On with the training!

1. Get a good education - the modern educational system of liberal arts is based on the Greek model, which was, of course, created by white males hundreds of years before Christ.  The Trivium and Quadrivium were considered the most vital skills and knowledge base for a freeman, so that he could rise above any circumstance of birth and take his rightful place among civil society.  This system was further developed by white males during the Roman era into the modern university, which you will want to destroy with pointless and senseless classes like Sexism, Racism and (gag) Education.  With any luck, you will be able to pay for that education with loans through a banking system created by white men in Italy and the Netherlands.

2. Read Karl Marx - One of the most important tasks ahead of you is to read and thoroughly understand the Marxist/Socialist concepts, as laid out in his books Das Kapital and The Communist Manifesto.  After all, the best way to fight the white male patriarchal society is to use the political and financial theories of a white male.  Think of it as having insider information.

3. Create pamphlets and posters extolling Marxist/Socialist utopia - Now you are ready to promote your utopian message.  Don't forget that the word utopia (meaning nowhere) was invented by white man Sir Thomas More, for his book based on white man Plato's ideas in his book Republic (in which you live).  You will need cash (thankfully invented by the Chinese) to pay for the printing, which was invented by white man Johannes Gutenberg.  If you got a decent education, then you know how to use Adobe Creative Suite, founded by two white men John Warnoc and Charles Geschke, to do the layout for the digital presses, which were in turn created by white guys at Iris Graphics, and now owned by Eastman Kodak, which was started by a white man.  If your work is good enough, then you might be able to make a buck or two in the free capitalist market, which was developed by a bunch of white guys.


4. Charge mobile devices - Before heading out of the house, you will want to charge your smartphone and other communications devices.  Remember that alternating current was developed by Nikola Tesla, a white man, and that the cell phone was invented by Martin Cooper, a white man, and that the telephone itself was invented by white man Alexander Graham Bell.  Furthermore, you can thank white man John Bannister Goodenough for that fast-charging, long-lasting lithium ion battery in all your devices.  Of course, the smartphone was developed by IBM, a company founded by white men, in 1992.  You'll need your devices to take photos (invented by French white guy Nicéphore Niépce) and/or video (created by Willard Boyle and George Smith, a couple of white men).

5. Practice Public Speaking - Oratory and rhetoric are fine skills, developed to an art form by a bunch of ancient Greek white guys, as you could probably tell by the etymology of those two words, based on your quality education.  Enunciation and diction (both concepts developed by Roman white guys) are key to effective public speaking.  If you achieve a high level of skill in this area, you will be able to motivate and educate your gender non-conformist, racially ambiguous fans to cast off the evil white patriarchy that has done nothing for your or them, except keep you oppressed.  As you speak clearly and concisely to your audience, don't forget that the rights to assemble and protest were formulated by a bunch of oppressive French and British white guys during that despicable period in patriarchal history called the Enlightenment.  Also keep in mind that your activities here are part of a long, arduous process begun by a bunch of privileged white British males who conceived of the Magna Carta, which started the centuries-long process of ending the feudal slavery system under privileged white royalty.  Since English is the de facto international language, you will want to use this creation of white folks called Angles, who were an off-shoot of the white folks called Teutans, and which has been added to and modified by Latin, Greek and French, all languages created by other brands of white folks.

6. Social Media - One of the cheapest and most effective means to get your Marxist/Socialist message out to a waiting world is to use Social Media.  Facebook (created by white guy Mark Zuckerberg), Google (created by white guys Larry Page and Sergey Brin) and Twitter (created by white guy Jack Dorsey) are ubiquitous and allow Marxist/Socialist SJWs instant access to white-male hating audiences around the world for free.  Social media uses the internet, developed by a bunch of white men at DARPA, and functioning on the TCP/IP system invented by Vint Cerf and Robert Kahn - two very white men - and on HTML language created by another white guy named Tim Berners-Lee.  As you tweet your Marxist/Socialist SJW message, it is likely to use at least one geo-synchronous satellite in the process, devices first conceived of by despised white male author Arthur C. Clark.

7. Broadcast Your Message - In your quest to teach the world of the evils of the evil white patriarchy, you will want to focus on broadcast.  Though other white males are trying hard to make this form of communications technology obsolete with digital streaming, it is nonetheless effective, offering access to diverse, gender-neutral audiences.  Radio is cheap and plentiful and was invented by the slimy white male named Nikola Tesla (again).  Television offers a much broader and hypnotized audience, but due to free-market forces it is much more expensive.  The major news networks that are sympathetic to your cause are, of course, founded, owned and operated by white males, making it the ideal outlet for your anti-white male screeds.  Naturally, television technology was invented by a white guy named Philo T. Farnsworth

8. Travel to protests - As part of your vital SJW activities, you will want to travel to protests around the country, and if possible, around the world.  This is an excellent way to share strategies, trade information and network with like-minded gender-neutral, racially undefined folks just like yourself.  The most common modes of transportation include the bicycle (German white guy Karl von Drais), the automobile (more German white guys named Gottlieb Daimler, Karl Benz and Nicolaus Otto), and the airplane (white brothers Orville and Wilbur Wright).  We can't forget the jet engine, that makes it so much faster and easier to get to those SJW anti-white male rallies (invented by Dr. Hans von Ohain and Sir Frank Whittle).  Lest we forget, there is also the lowly train, invented by notorious white patriarch George Stephenson.

9 Blame white men for everything - This is the trickiest part of your SJW training.  You will be required to lambaste, harangue, chide, censure, chastise, rebuke, objurgate, and criticize the White Patriarchy for all the evils in the world, while still enjoying all the fruits of their labors.  Fortunately, the thousands of SJWs who have gone before you have laid down the groundwork, allowing you to make outrageous claims of abuse, without suffering from an obvious lack of integrity.  You will be greatly helped by the white-owned mass media, as you serve their purposes...for now.  Take full advantage of it while you can.

If you are one of those strange people that prefers to live what you preach, and remain faithful to the message you deliver to the world, then you will have to make do with sitting in a dark cave eating whatever you can catch with your bare hands, and never travelling further than your own two feet can carry you, while remaining completely silent until you have mastered a non-white language that a vast majority of the world will understand - like English, but darker.

Good luck gender non-conforming, racially ambiguous, fully diverse folks!  It's your time, strike while the iron's hot.  And don't forget that the Chinese invented gunpowder, so it's OK to blow stuff up and shoot people.