Here Thar Be Monsters!

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Got Yer Global Warming Hangin'

This one is going to be particularly politically incorrect, but I have a rather long and meaty middle finger for anyone who doesn't like it.

I'm bone tired of the whole 'global warming' argument. Even people I consider to be relatively intelligent have been completely snowed under by this piece of mental refuse.  It's time, as the Indonesian's say, to buang air besar.  Time to let rip the Big One.

If, and not that I am using the first conditional here, IF the Earth is warming, so what?!

Let's see...Greenland, the Northern Territories, the Alaskan Tundra, and Siberia thaw.  Great!  More arable land, more places to grow crops, more food for Humanity.  Anyone in the audience think that's a bad thing?

Next, more evaporation.  Well, let's see...the central US in the throes of a drought, so more atmospheric moisture might be a good thing.  Right?  And with all the hand-wringing over rising sea levels, more and faster evaporation may be the answer, right?  Who knows?  We may even get to find out what's at the bottom of Lake Vostok without having to drill.  Save a few shekels and have new beachfront property to sell.  Complaints?  Didn't think so.

Now, recently some idiot who has never studied history has published a study showing that temperatures in a very narrow field of study have risen ever so slightly.  I will not give this idiot attention by mentioning his name or linking to his work, because idiots like this should be kept in dark padded rooms, not given encouragement.

At any rate, this idiot cites the fact that global temperature records have shown a very slight rise in average temperatures since 1753.  He says this is responsible for all the ills of the world and has been caused by the activity of humanity.

First, let me say that anyone who thinks that the activities of a few billion humans on Earth doesn't amount to a hill of beans when it comes to affecting massive complex systems like Earth's biosphere.  To think otherwise is to be a megalomaniac of such proportions as to require institutionalization post haste.  Sorry to burst your ego, but we ain't all that.

Second, within reasonable parameters, all living things require heat in order to grow and thrive.  It is no mistake that the greenest, lushest parts of the Earth lie along the equator, where it is presumably the hottest year-round.  Since I live on the equator, I think I am uniquely qualified to say, guess what, heat is good.

All dynamic systems require the input of energy.  Thus, in order to grow and thrive, life on Earth requires heat in order to expand.  Granted, there can be too much, like Venus, though the jury is still out, since no craft has landed with the tools to search for life.  The big hinderance?  Atmospheric PRESSURE and hydrosulphuric accid clouds.  But don't let that pop you ego bubble.

Third, the greatest explosion of human creativity and achievement has taken place since 1753.  The Enlightenment, the American Revolution, the rise of the nation state and republics, the end of slavery, the invention of computers, the landings on the Moon.  All that took place in the narrow window of human history that is also labeled as the Age of Global Warming.

Here's my thought.  Instead of human activity causing global warming, suppose global warming has caused the explosion in human creativity and achievement.  That'll put a little twist in your Wheaties, won't it?

In fact, I'm willing to go out on a limb here.  I'd be willing to bet that if global temps were plotted against the greatest achievement of humans in the same time period, that the temps would slightly lead major breakthroughs.  I'd also be willing to bet that the reason we haven't seen such a graph is specifically because them what we call the 'elites' don't want us to see such things.  Going even further, I'd be willing to bet that slavery, serfdom and general oppression occur within the periods of low overall temps, such as the Black Death, the Middle Ages and the like.

Certainly, based on the idiot's data, the explosion of human creativity and overall well-being of our species seems to coincide quite nicely with the highs in temps, though lagging slightly, meaning the temps drove the bursts of humanity, rather than the opposite.

What was that?  The rainforests are the lungs of the planet?  Well, since you've never lived in the rain forest, you can be forgiven for not knowing that the forest grows back as fast as, if not faster, than you can cut it.  Also, forests only absorb CO2 and give off O2 in daylight hours.  At night, they release CO2 just like the rest of us, negating any positive effect they have on the overall atmosphere.

Ergo, the only reason global warming is an issue is because it causes bursts of human activity, usually against the desires of the global elite.  Furthermore, it makes vast amounts of land available to farming that is otherwise frozen waste, thus feeding the masses and lowering food prices.  Also against the deepest desires of tghe global elite.

The only reason we are being made afraid of global warming is because 'they' are afraid of it.  They can't stand the idea of us having ideas, and having enough food and places to live outside overcrowded cities and taxed infrastructure.  'They' like us to suffer and die, because then we don't threaten 'their' domain.

'They' are a bunch of inbred morons and 'they' can not abide the fact that even the anacephalic babies are smarter than 'their' best offspring.  Add to that global warming and higher food availability and the extra brain power that goes with warmer climes, and the 'close cousins' are out of a job, as they have
  been in every epoch when global temps have risen.

At one point in Earth's history, the temps were far warmer than they are now.  We call that time the Cretaceous Period.  It produced a world lush with vegetation and beasts the size of buildings.  To hear some tell it, their remains are what we burn to run our society. 

And we're supposed to be terrified of that kind of burst of growth and vitality.  We are supposed to cower from the thought of vast amounts of food, where we don't have to shiver in front of the fire and fear going outside because we'll freeze in our tracks.  We're supposed to dread a globe in which humans are empowered and energized and don't put up with being slaves and serfs.

You want to fear global warming?  Here's your shackles.  You want to join the global energy surge and burst of creativity?  Don't listen to the idiots.

Climate change only means status quo change.  Status quo change means the 'elite' are set back another 200 or 300 years in their ongoing plans to take over the world.  You know what?

Screw 'em.

I'll take the warming and the explosion of ideas and inventions over their small-minded global kindergarten any day.