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Far Side Into The Toilet

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I told myself I was going to avoid the whole Tranny Toilet Trap, but I can't help it.  When I see this level of absurdity, I can't keep my mouth shut, or in this case, my fingers folded.

What set me off was this story of a Colorado woman that shot a tranny who followed her into the restroom.  Oh sure, the story's a bit more complex than that, but the gist is that the issue had gotten to the point that people are making up stories to fire up passions on both sides of the bench.

Just to launch this topic, let me say that it is in no way like the civil rights movements.  People who are discriminated against because of something they can't change is a real issue and deserves attention.  People who seek attention by changing something is a non-issue.

One of the many things that irritate me concerning this non-story is the misappropriation of words.  When I see the word "transgender," it's like fingernails scraping a blackboard.  There is no such thing as a "transgender" person, never has been, and likely won't be in the foreseeable future.  Until someone can demonstrate that they have changed from having two X chromosomes, to having an X and a Y, then there is no such thing as transgender.

Among humans, roughly 1.7% are considered "intersex," meaning they are born with some blending of XX and XY chromosomes.  These folks, once known as "hermaphrodites," may have what appear to be genitals of both male and female, though there are no recorded cases where both are functional.

This has led some to speculate that there are in fact five genders, though this is rather ridiculous, since sexual reproduction requires two opposite genders and won't occur otherwise.  In very rare cases where people have XXY chromosomes, called Klinefelter Syndrome, they are usually sterile and often suffer from lifelong health problems.  Even as such, these folks generally appear to be male.

What all this boils down to is that there is no such thing as a true hermaphrodite among humans.  Everyone who is sexually functional, is either male or female.  Surgery can rearrange the drapery so that it looks like something else, but this does not change the chromosomes, nor does it allow someone to reproduce as the opposite gender (in fact most become sterile).

In my profession, I have been around a LOT of male and female impersonators and transsexuals.  I have seen some amazing approximations on both sides of the spectrum.  I've seen a hundred ways to hide various bumps and bulges that would fool their own mothers.  But there are three things that cannot be altered by surgery: the "adam's apple," the second/fourth fingers and the pelvis.

The adam's apple, that lump on the larynx formed in males during puberty, can be hidden and even reduced a bit by hormone treatment, but it never goes away.  It alters certain qualities of the voice, such as making it deeper in males, that cannot be changed.  I've heard some great attempts, including in singers who sound for all the world like women, until you analyze the recorded wave-forms.  There are certain tones and harmonics present in the male voice that can never be disguised.

The 'finger test' surfaced last year when stories of Michelle Obama being a male made the rounds on the internet.  I have never met Michelle, so I can't speak to the truth of these stories, but the 'finger test' is quite real.  In men, the burst of testosterone around 9 to 16 weeks of gestation causes the index finger to stop growing.  Thus, in men the second/index finger is shorter than the fourth/ring finger.  In my experience, this test is no fail.  I have met dozens of transsexuals who have dared me to detect them and I have not yet failed, even with fabled Thailand girlie-boys.

The final test, though a bit more difficult to perform, is as infallible as the finger test.  The pelvis is completely different between male and female.  It can be disguised and hidden, but never altered.  Without killing and dismembering someone, the difference can be felt.  In males, the femur or thigh bone fits into its socket in a line front to rear.  In females, the socket is aligned side to side.  The overall effect is that it makes women's hips appear wider, but also affects one's center of gravity and range of movement.  This makes males better at running, jumping and climbing, while females are better at carrying loads and dancing.

All of this is by way of arguing that, in the main, there are only two genders and regardless of how many cuts and pricks (offhanded pun) one receives, DNA does not lie.  No one can ever be transgendered, though with a sharp knife, one can certainly be transsexualized.

The net result of this long-winded diatribe is that six months ago, no one gave a holy goddam who used what bathroom.  Now the topic is dominating international news feeds.  Here in Indonesia, it is very common to have unisex bathrooms.  There's a high-tech device in common use here that makes this possible - it's called a damn lock.  Well, OK, just a lock, I added the "damn" part.

There is no reason why anyone cannot use any toilet, provided there is a modicum of privacy that includes a stall with good walls and a lock on the door.  The only reason this has become an issue in the US is because in the name of freakin' "security," bathroom stalls have been reduced to little more than a couple of sheets of very small paper with door gaps that a herd of buffalo could run through.

There's a reason why British English calls bathrooms "closets."  It's because the stalls are little private rooms with locks on the doors, like a closet.  If the US still respected people's privacy, there would be no issue about who uses which toilets.  You could easily have a large room full of closets with a communal sink and what would be the bloody difference?  But, since the US is increasingly adapting its culture and public facilities to aid and abet sexual predators, I can certainly understand why women don't want GENETIC males wandering into their sacred haunts.

That, and having men around kinda kills the fun of the "we-pee," where women discuss all sorts of bizarre things while going about in flocks.  I'm hardly sympathetic to this issue.

In any event, back in the old days, men and women who cross-dressed usually kept their proclivities at home.  If they ventured out, part of the thrill was to see if they could fool the general public.  In most cased, no one really gave a good goddam.

However, in the age of mini cameras, really strange sex practices and a general permissiveness for all things perverted and just plain weird, I can understand why women would want to preserve the sanctity of the toilet.  In fact, I'm thinking of starting a movement called the Brotherhood of the Bowl to keep women passing as men out of our restrooms.  It will require a finger scanner and a hip check at the door.

What all this boils down to is a bunch of people screaming for attention in a world that has glamorized narcissism and self-aggrandizement.  People have come to crave the spotlight so much that they are competing to out-strange everyone else, and then demand "equal rights."

Got news for these folks: rights, by their very definition, apply to all people equally.  But, rights are amended by social decorum and the rights of others.  Within your home, you are monarch and have every right to go about your business as you see fit.  In public, other folks have the right not to be disturbed by your disturbances.  Social graces have developed over centuries to make everyone comfortable in public.  It is a small sacrifice for a cross-dresser or post-surgical transsexual to use the bathroom of their genetic gender, but it is a major sacrifice to force others to allow their privacy and comfort to be violated.

There is literally no end to this road.  Despite many folks thinking there is a natural limit to this silliness, there isn't.  It will continue until the majority have grown severely tired of the invasions on decorum and the pendulum will swing the other way, to the point of drastic and tragic backlash.

Society works because we all adhere to certain common rules of behavior that we can all live with.  There is no burning need for transsexuals and transvestites to use the toilets of the opposite gender.  This is not even remotely like protecting people from racial discrimination.

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