Here Thar Be Monsters!

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3.1.17

The Skin On Our Teeth

Well, how do you like them crackers?  We made it through another year more or less intact and slightly less for the wear and tear.  As Igor (that's Eye-Gore) remarked in Young Frankenstein, "Could be worse.  Could be raining."

In any event, it was a good month here on the Far Side.  December marked a new high in visitors, coming within a hair's breadth of our all-time record of 13,000 and change, which we hit shortly before disappearing off the face of the Earth for a couple of years.  Thus, our come-back is complete!

The majority of new visitors are coming from Russia, and they are apparently hacking our site and changing key words in sentences all the way back to 2010, when we started this labor of love.  To all these good folk we say, "Благодарю вас за вашу поддержку и, пожалуйста, приходите еще."

It's been a long year.  Don't know about you, but it seems like the entire year has been spent pushing boulders uphill, only to have them trundle back down again, crushing innocent by-standers on the way.  To those good folks we say, stay down baby, just stay down.

This was supposed to be a good year for me according to Chinese astrology, but I think I got the dirty end of the Monkey.  Here's hoping the Year of the Red Hot Cock (or Red Fire Rooster if you prefer) will bring a bit of luck with it.  Master Tsai says us Oxen will "bring home the trophy" this year.  If it doesn't happen, I'm going to track down Master Tsai and gag him with his rune stones.

God willing and the creek don't rise, this year should bring a little travel.  In March, we are scheduled to take a week in Bali.  Around mid-year, we are hoping for a first trip to Japan, and at the end of the year, we are eyeing a jaunt to Antarctica leaving out of Tasmania.  If all goes according to plan, I will end the year having set foot on every continent and most major islands of the planet.  Still missing Madagascar, Greenland and Baffin, though.

One major obstacle for 2017, is trying to figure out where we go from here.  As long-time readers know, we like to find the anti-trends, which until now was the now-surfaced Populist Wave.  Now that it has gone mainstream, everyone will start fighting over who is in charge and who led the charge and who will get charged.  That is going to pervert the whole thing into the usual mess and here on the Far Side, we have to figure out where everyone will go next.  As we've often noted here, if everyone is running in one direction, you can pretty much bet your last dollar it's the wrong direction.

One thing is absolutely certain for the coming year: the Globalists ain't done yet.  We've watched them panic for the last five years, knowing that this wave of opposition was coming, but they got caught off guard.  They didn't see Trump coming.  In the early parts of the campaign last year, Trump played the role - willingly or not - of the plucky comic relief.  Turns out that was exactly what folks wanted.

The Globalists have no sense of humor that we mere mortals can detect.  Everything for them is a game of life or death.  They have spent nigh on 300 years trying to set up their little fiefdom, and now face losing it all to a clown.  Talk about indignation!  But, they still have hope!

The one thing that is giving the Globalists hope is that folks are still brainwashed into thinking that they need leadership, government and social institutions.  They haven't yet realized that every individual is his or her own best leader.  Basically, if I can talk to God directly, why do I need a priest?  We are still a long way off from that very fundamental realization, and as long as we continue to need government and leaders and authorities, then the Globalists have an "in".

What gives them nightmares is that Trump will be such a bad president that the entire US, and the world while we're at it, will realize that there is no need for leaders.  From a Far Side point of view, that would be the best possible outcome.  Enlightened Anarchy, for anyone who has read Lysander Spooner, is the only way and truly represents a revolution unlike any in history.

OK, whoa!  This is getting too heavy for the first work day of the year.  We started off with out tongue planted firmly in our cheek, and the next thing you know, we are biting it - the tongue that is.

The only way through this coming year is with a serious sense of humor, if that can possibly be achieved.  It's gonna be one wild ride for anyone not prepared to laugh long and hard at life.  We can't, especially now, take anything too seriously or buy in to any one side too far.  If we do, we lose perspective and take things personally, and that leads to heartache and disappointment.  There's enough of that to go around as it is.

No, we must rise above this mess we call civilization and find things like Farcebook censoring centuries-old artworks because Neptune's wee-wee is hanging out.  Good lord, this is the dawning of a Neo-Victorian Era, where everything is parsed to the n-th degree for anything suggestive of gender, sexuality or, for that matter, humanity.

Of course, us smart folks know that it's not about prudery; it's about censoring beauty, form and figure.  It's about destroying rhythm and harmony.  It's about tossing out those things that lead to elevated hearts and minds, and keeping us all wallowing in filth and slime.

That's why they'll censor Neptune, but not Andres Cerrano or Millie Brown.  The goal is not whether a god's wee-wee is exposed, or whether it is a grotesque display of genderism.  It's all about removing beauty from the world.

Beauty and humor.  I mean, listen to some of the "best" comics out there.  They aren't funny.  All they do is spew vileness and people laugh because, 1) it makes them nervous, and 2) they can't believe they paid for that trash.

In the old days, humor was a means to show us our stupidity.  Look at George Carlin, arguably one of the greatest comics of all time.  His career spanned more than 50 years because he made us laugh at ourselves and at the institutions we take oh-so-seriously.  He was the Great Anarchist who did not destroy except that he built up.

With any luck, 2017 will be a George Carlin year.  If all goes according to plan, we will en masse realize how stupid we've been to follow anyone, much less politicians and priests (rabbis, imam, whatever).  Humanity will begin the seriously funny job of dismantling all these ridiculous control systems that deign to own us, and begin replacing them with beautiful things, funny things, things that help us rise above the daily Bravo Sierra of life.  We can all still be deprogrammed, even the millennials, though obviously humans don't like realizing how stupid there are.

I don't know where I'm going with this, really.  I started off in one direction, then doubled back to take of blind turn into oblivion.

In any case, the point is that we made it through another year, and the coming year, like every single one preceding it, will be full of shocks and surprises, good times and bad, and most of the bad will be brought on us as punishment by our erstwhile owners who don't like uppity servants.

Please ensure that your seatbelt is securely fastened, and that your seatbacks and tray tables are in their upright and locked positions.  The captain has warned of turbulence ahead.  Smoke 'em if you got 'em.  Don't worry what the little sign says.

Seems we always get by on a wing and a prayer, and the skin of our teeth.

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